It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and that means you need to get your knob slobbed on very quickly - otherwise, your penis shrinks and you lose your semen count via excessive masturbation in public bathrooms. Most of you are probably ignoring all of the advice that a genius like I have given you (for free, by the way) - and that’s why you’re wondering what the best “dating sites” are for Japan.

I don’t use dating sites, mainly because the women who use dating sites are used up bags of flesh who have more semen in them than a Hatsune Miku body pillow. In Japan, “e-dating” or “long distance” stuff does not really work. In fairness, it never works, but it especially won’t work if you’re some flabby American retard who dropped out of college and looking to score some yellow poon.

You mainly want to use these Japanese dating sites as a way to meet somebody while YOU are in Japan. Not when you’re in America and looking for a “reason” to go. You need to meet people and go out with them quickly. Some of the dating sites are familiar to most of you, and other ones may be new.

If my name is Yellowfever X because I love to pipe down little Asian women with my massive rod of steel, Gaijin Hunters are the opposite. That’s how they describe the women who I sleep with (because they want to sleep with white men) and typically want a person to teach them English to help them with their make-believe career as a Nintendo Saleswoman.

These people are also called English Vampires since they want to suck you of all your English-speaking knowledge. Extra bonus points if she does suck you. You might see them constantly hanging around bars where lots of foreign teachers hang out.

A big thing about Japan is that they assume all white people are rich. Not true, considering most white people I’ve met in Japan are poor and think that making $20,000 USD teaching snot-nosed retarded children English is somehow a “good living”. 

Due to that, they’ll think you can travel the world with them. I’ve never brought an Asian woman outside of Asia to come on my adventures. I prefer to leave exotic things in exotic lands, not bring them back to Detroit. 

Here’s the thing though. You may be seen as “prey”, but as long as you’re not a loser degenerate who catches feelings quickly you can just sleep with them and dump them. The hunters can become the hunted if you’re smart and not a mongoloid.

Tinder is probably the most well-known dating app in the world, and it is in Japan. However, you’ll quickly find that there are some issues with using Tinder in Japan. Firstly, most women in Japan are shy - not because they’re unattractive, but because they’re worried that an Indian IT worker will meet up with them and grope them on the train (and no woman wants their vagina to smell like curry).

Since most men are sex-starved degenerates who fall in love quickly, they’ll probably end up blowing this poor girl's phone up with messages and harassing them nonstop. A lot of the women on Japanese Tinder will take photos of their food and various geographical shots to prevent creeps from knowing who they are. At the end of the day, most of the Japanese women you’ll meet will be fairly attractive. Once a girl becomes comfortable with you, they’ll send you a picture of what they look like.

From what the interns tell me, a lot of people will use Tinder as a way to help their English conversational skills. I don’t know if you’ve ever used “Duolingo” or another language app, but typical conversations are pretty boring and not in-depth at all. It’s a bit easier once you’re actually talking to the person. It also helps to know some Japanese so you don’t look like a stuttering retard.

All in all, Tinder is a pretty solid service to use. As a man, I’d suggest you probably subscribe to it since Tinder will boost your profile if you do. Now, a lot of brown people use Tinder and typically Asian women don’t like brown guys - so if you’re white that’ll be a big bonus for you. If you’re a woman, simply existing is enough to get dicked down.

While it is not necessarily a “dating” app, HelloTalk is a great way to build relationships and connections with women who can barely understand you. Back in the day, it used to be exclusively for exchanging language skills. Now it’s become more used as an “international dating app”.

As I mentioned earlier, I don’t like people e-dating or having long-distance relationships. It simply does not work and never will work. That’s why soldiers are constantly hanging themselves when their wife cheats on them. HelloTalk has also been invaded by a lot of Indian and Middle Eastern people, who scared away all the women by giving off major creep vibes and asking for vagene pics.

If you have a good head on your shoulders, you’d probably be able to make use of HelloTalk. Talk to some girl from Japan while in Japan, learn their language, and help her learn English. It’s like a true romantic movie, except you just want to have sex with her and she’s using you as bragging points to her friends (or to pass an exam).

Most relationships are totally transactional in the modern era with no hint of romance or true genuine love. So just use her and she’ll use you. It’s worth a download at least, especially if you’re too scared to meet people at a bar.

Bumble is active in Japan, and many of the people on Bumble will actually speak in English to you. Bumble is primarily used by a “younger” crowd, typically all under 35. If you’re a bit older you may want to avoid Bumble, since the women have to message first. If you have obvious signs of wealth it’ll be easier for you.

That’s the big “rule” with Bumble. The women are the “queen bees” and they pick what little worker drone (YOU) gets to impregnate them. Bumble is a bit bad since you can use it for free, and typically sites that have a free model are using you.

The big downside with Bumble is that much like Tinder, it’s designed for bored girls to get a massive ego boost because they’ll have thousands of matches. When they’re dealing with beta males it makes them feel powerful. Of course, when they meet a real man like me they’re begging me to throw them through a glass table. 

For you, you’ll be lucky to get a couple of good matches. Quickly try to take them out on an in-person date. Bumble isn’t designed for long-distance relationships.

Pairs pretty much sums up the male dating experience. Women can join Pairs for free (actual women, not troons) whereas men have to pay fees to join. Men have to pay roughly $25 USD a month to join. $25 USD is nothing if you’re a high valued male such as myself, who has tens of millions of dollars in liquid cash in his checking account (and even more invested in every single Japanese pachinko parlor - I own all of them).

Most of the loser NEETs who occupy Tinder and Bumble are scared of using paid dating services, mainly because they think that they’re special little boys who should have women flocking to them for their attention. Pairs is perfect if you’re wanting to be serious, since showing that you can pay for basic shit means you can actually take women out on dates (and not make them pay for everything).

Pairs is also home to a lot of Gaijin Hunters, but mainly the ones looking for fugly white women who need to date outside their race. You’ll find some pictures of gross white women dating gross looking Asian dudes, just so their dad is super pissed off with them. They also might be confusing Japanese men for Korean men - since a lot of depressed fat white women love K-Pop.

The website is worth a look at if you’re hoping to secure a “long lasting” relationship as they’re wanting to find marriage. For this white woman, she wanted a way to live in Japan and consume endless amounts of anime while flicking her bean.

I think Tapple is great because women have to spend $20 USD a month to subscribe and men have to pay $50 USD. This means that the women have to have some money (can’t live at home collecting child support like most girls), and the men have to be high value entrepreneurs like myself who can blow $50 USD a month on finding women to sleep with.

You’re going to want to subscribe to the higher priced plan, since if you cheap out and go for the “easy” option you’ll never get anywhere in life. Also, the women and men on Tapple are far more attractive than the other sites. You probably shouldn’t look for a real long lasting relationship on any of these sites as a “gaijin”, you should fly in and ruin existing relationships and help people cheat on their Asian partners.

Tapple boasts that “10,000 couples per month” are happening thanks to Tapple. For some reason, I highly doubt that number since most Japanese people are horny and will sleep with anything in sight.

My real advice to all my adoring fans is this. I think you may want to steer clear of online dating, especially because it’s easy to fall into a trap where you just text a girl endlessly or Facetime her. If you use these apps, please actually be IN Japan and take these girls (or guys) out on real dates.

Too many young men are lost and think that women need to prove themselves to them. That’s not how it works. If you want to be a masculine person, you need to take charge. Sitting around chatting shit online with a girl for months on end isn’t going to get you anywhere.

Use these sites as a “tool” to create a list of people you can hit up. Don’t rely on it to make connections with people while halfway across the world.

I don’t do online dating, so I’ve never had a woman “ghost” me like most of you have. Usually, women ghost you because you give off rape-vibes and can’t shut up about your love of anime vampire girls who occupy the body of a 12 year old. Japanese women are no different, and ghosting is very common in Japan.

If you get ghosted, don’t sweat it. As it is common in Japan, you’ll be ghosted at least several times in your dating life while in their country. Granted I’ve never been ghosted (I’m a 6’7 millionaire with a dick the size of a redwood), but I’m sure that if I was ghosted I wouldn’t care since I have constant women wanting to please me.

Ghosting is when you take a girl out, make her split the bill, creep her out, and then she abruptly stops texting you back. Typically this happens when the girl feels unsafe in your presence, and also thinks if she rejects you over text message that you’ll track her down and lock her in your fetish dungeon.

Yeah, you’ll be “hurt” by being ghosted - but you probably deserve it. If a woman likes you, she’ll never stop talking to you. Getting dry texts means a dry twat - so your chances of being ghosted go up tenfold when you’re a boring loser who can’t carry a conversation.

A lot of redditors will claim that people ghost because they’re afraid of a relationship. Most of the time they’re just afraid of you. Think about it like this. Women ghost when they’re afraid you’re going to rape and murder them. Men ghost when they’re afraid the woman suffers from BPD and is going to accuse them of molesting children.

Since sexual assault rates are super high in Japan (don’t believe all the stats you see, it’s under-reported) Japanese women are more likely to ghost than other women. Nothing makes a Japanese girl want to run for the hills when you start trying to grope them on the train.

Going off numbers found from dating websites, it’s very common for young people to ghost. It ranges from 84% to 90% of people saying they’ve either ghosted or been ghosted by potential partners. That basically means that about 80% of the people out there are freaks and causing other people to get bad vibes from them.

It’s the same pretty much all around the world. “Gen Z” ghosts the most, while older generations ghost the least. A website written by retards pulled the number “50%” out of their ass - which goes against all actual dating data which shows it’s well above 80%. 

Since the Japanese are so non-confrontational and suffer from severe issues about letting "people down", the number is probably actually closer to 100%. A lot of women will ghost you, and most Asian men will ghost white women because they don't know how to dress.

The amount of ghosting does not change based on the country. It is HOW they ghost which changes. That’s the major difference between the United States (where ghosting is abrupt) and Japan (where it is not).

The last time the Japanese were confrontational, their entire country was taken over by crayon-eating glue-sniffing American marines. They’ve become used to being beta male degenerates who are scared of confrontation. This manifests itself in their dating life, since nobody can say “Thank you for going on a date, but I just don’t feel we had a strong connection.”

Instead, they’ll actually string you along. After a long hard day of raiding shinto shrines, I came back to my hotel where a despondent young man was seated. I met him a couple times, and he never impressed me (that’s why I don’t remember his name). He told me that he’s been texting this Japanese girl and that they went out on a date, but that she’s been pushing off the second date constantly.

When I asked him for his phone, he showed me that he’d be sending her MASSIVE paragraph texts and she’d respond with one word answers. I told him “This girl is not interested in you, stop embarrassing yourself.” And he didn’t believe me. “Well, she keeps pushing our second date forward. So she must just be busy.”

That’s how delusional men are. Women are too - but they’re delusional that I want to date them (as if). I had to explain to him this very important thing.

JAPANESE PEOPLE ARE NON CONFRONTATIONAL

She didn’t feel the “connection” on your date, but she isn’t going to say this. First of all, you’re a foreigner in their country and you smell like a sewer-troll. Japanese people hate how white people smell and you need to take extra care of yourself. So she probably gagged when she could smell your ejaculate covered pubes from across the room.

So, the Japanese “ghost” by constantly pushing plans forward and sending one word replies. That’s how they do it. Eventually they will stop responding, but it takes them a long time too because of their “culture” and the fact that they’re afraid you’re going to shoot one of them (especially if you’re black).

In Japan, a lot of things are “unspoken”. They don’t want to have to explain to a socially autistic weirdo that it’s a social rule that you don’t badger people constantly for attention when they’re responding one time during the day. Have you ever heard of kuuki yomenai (KY)? That means you can’t read the room. I definitely know a lot of people from the west cannot read a room. They’re loud, obnoxious, and stinky. 

It’s really tough to read a room when you have autism. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you might have severe mental disorders causing you to not understand certain things. However at the same time, Japan might have “unspoken rules” but you can pretty much look anything up and understand what you’re supposed to do in Japan.

Due to the Japanese being non-confrontational, it’s actually expected for them to ghost you. You need to “read the room” (in this case, read between the lines) and understand that if a person reschedules the next date six different times they do not want to see you.

Another thing is that in Japan, people usually do not stay in touch with their exes out of fear that evil spirits will inhabit their bodies and bring bad luck. I’m not kidding by the way - the Japanese believe that brooms and shovels are haunted. (Stop believing that Japan is a sophisticated country, it’s basically rural China outside of Tokyo).

On reddit, it seems like this person is still feeling raw after being ghosted by a girl two years ago. He tries to subtly claim that he is suffering from PTSD by saying he “wakes up everyday at 4 am”. Get a grip. You guys need to seriously expect everyone to like you. 

Disney adults who are nothing more than pedophiles in disguise are the worst - and that pretty much sums up anyone who doesn’t understand KY. 

I think a lot of people who are inexperienced with romance build an “idea” of a person in their head. You dream up the future of the person and run with that image. Really, you should try to take things slow. It isn’t so much “How do I prevent being ghosted” (since you can’t MAKE people like you stop trying to be a disney prince or princess), and more of a “How do I learn to not care?”

For you it might be hard to get into a relationship (unless you’ve read my guide), so you actually CREATE relationships with people in your head even if you’ve only met them once (or exclusively text with them). Due to that, when they “no longer show interest” you get upset.

You need CONFIDENCE and to MAN UP. Lots of people out there won’t like you for arbitrary reasons. For you, you may need to find somebody who loves your rancid body odor and misogyny. 

I also think you need to stop chasing “the golden snatch”, because a relationship is a two way street. If a girl ghosts you, who the fuck cares? Or if a guy ghosts you (stop putting out so easily) - it doesn’t really matter.

You cannot prevent ghosting in Japan. Don’t try to. Stop trying to make people like you. Be who you are. It’s like that old cliche, “If you haven’t made enemies, you haven’t lived.” Being a people pleaser comes with great disappointment. 

A good way to avoid “ghosting” is to understand that if the date doesn’t go “well” then you should move on by yourself. Don’t settle for people who don’t care about you. All of this stems from your lack of self esteem and crippling anxiety. Go take drugs to fix your messed up mind.

Stop being a pussy and go out and date people. Don’t worry about being rejected, or ghosted. In Japan it will happen a lot - especially since they claim white people smell like milk and eggs when we go there. Black people of course just smell bad in general, so you’ll also face rejection. For women you’ll also be rejected and ghosted - but don’t worry.

When you first arrive in Japan, you’ll realize very quickly that all Japanese people are midgets. That’s why I love going there. I dominate everyone with my physique. I’m 6’8 and 300 pounds of muscle. That’s why when Japanese women see me, their panties flood faster than when the tsunami flooded Tohoku in 2011. I know most of you reading this are little manlets who are under 5’8, but as long as you’re over 5’2 you’ll pretty much be taller than all the Japanese people.

As we all know, women LOVE tall guys. You can be abusive, beat their faces in, and demand they snowball you - and they’ll still keep crawling back because you’re tall. Over in North America, you run into an issue that you really need to be above 6’0 to be considered “tall”, and most of you are race-mixed mongrels who stand at around 5’7. That’s why you MUST go to Japan to find a woman.

A bunch of Redditors are trying to prevent you from heightmaxxing in Japan, so they claim the average man in Japan is 5’7 to 5’8. In actuality, most Japanese men are 172 cm - or about 5’6. Just to let you know, that’s the average height for most white women. So if you want to dominate a little Japanese boy and castrate him for your own pleasure, it’s very much doable in Japan.

If you are a white man and not over six feet tall, you’re pretty much a genetic loser who should go take experimental drugs in Montenegro to expand your height. Most of you looking up this article are doing so because you’re incredibly ashamed and embarrassed at your lack of height (i.e - small penis size) - so you look to the “smaller nations” to colonize them with your “giant” seed.

When I walk around in Tokyo, I’m basically a giant. A lot of “funny” Japanese guys will point at me and yell Godzilla. I’ve heard it so much. Their own subconscious is revealing how inadequate these little guys feel when around a big strong man like me. That’s why they point me out to their girlfriends - essentially they are imagining big strong white men with their women.

Not only are these Japanese guys really short, they’re also incredibly thin. These guys are 132 pounds and 5’6. You punch one of these guys one time and they explode into a cloud of red mist. It’s actually kind of freaky - They’re like praying mantis people.

Women who are not “tiny” are practically men, and looking at tall women or bigger women makes you a massive queer. This is another big reason to go to Japan. If you really want to show a woman you’re in control, throw her through your expensive $5000 glass table. Not only will she realize you can physically dominate her, but you also are rich.

For women in Japan, the average height is only 5’2. Think about that. The average woman in Canada and America is 5’4, but they seem a lot bigger because most of them look like they could be an intergalactic warlord who comes to enslave all the petite women on Earth. Those two inches should NOT add 100 pounds on a woman.

There is no such thing as a “short king”. If your girl knows that at any moment a big man can come along and dominate you, you’ll always be seen as a bitch. Women have the same mentality as dogs. They’re always looking to see who can dominate who. Most likely you cannot dominate anyone in a social setting (you’re autistic), you’re not strong (you’re lazy and don’t want to lift weights), you’re not intelligent (you’re reading JapanJunky), so the only thing you can hope for is dominating people with your physicality. You won’t be able to do that in any Western nation.

NEWSFLASH! All women love taller guys. That’s why you see so many beautiful women with dog-faced men who are tall. Plus being tall gives you a big confidence boost. Anytime you see a short guy with confidence, you immediately think it’s fake. “Oh yeah, here comes the little chihuahua“. 

Women love taller people because they’re all brainwashed by the CIA. Even Japanese women are not free from brainwashing. Have you ever noticed their eyes always look like the eyes of a giant human bug? That’s because they’ve been drinking so much nuclear-polluted water that they’ve gotten brain rot.

You can tell that Japanese women love taller guys because so many of them come onto foreigners hard in Japan. You’ll get off the plane and the next thing you know this Japanese girl is trying to finger your ass in a robot-owned cafe. Almost all interracial relationships are WHITE MAN - YELLOW WOMAN. 

You will RARELY find a white woman with a yellow man. The only time white women get with Asian guys is when they don’t have dads. That’s a lot of women out there, but this is a special kind of woman who has a mix of autism and BPD. They love K-Dramas and get confused if somebody is Chinese, Japanese, or Korean. Basically, they’re at the bottom of the genetic pool for white people.

There are a lot of reasons why the Japanese got the short end of the genetic ticket for height. Firstly, in order to be tall you must drink a lot of milk. Only white people drink milk (nobody else is allowed), so we became taller. Japanese people also have a crazy bad diet. They mainly eat vegetables and ALWAYS consume RAW FISH! 

Meat was banned in Japan 1600 years ago, and the ban was lifted relatively recently in the 19th century. With a lack of meat and milk, the Japanese people became incredibly frail and tiny. When with industrialization, their country became polluted and caused even more stunted growth.

They’ve started to get taller after consuming meat, but other Asian countries have begun to outpace them heavily. That’s why I worry that China will totally kick their ass in WW3. Most Chinese people are super-enhanced via genetic engineering, whereas the Japanese are still content eating kelp and smoking six packs of cigarettes a day.

It all comes down to genetics and eating habits. On paper what the Japanese people at is “healthy” because they live so long, but it seems that they’re very frail and small. I don’t know - I think it’s doing a massive disservice to the future Japanese kids who are cursed with being short forever. 

Japanese people will definitely take notice of your height, as I mentioned earlier. Basically, you’re most likely going to stick out like a sore thumb. Public transit is also made with the idea that most people are going to be under six feet, which means that you’ll probably end up with a stiff neck in Japan.

Have you ever seen the Lord of the Rings movies? You know the hobbit holes? Basically, the Japanese live in that, but a concrete version. Now imagine if the hobbits conducted human experiments, and were also massive sex degenerates. Actually, I guess they were (Sam sucking Frodo’s feet).

You may hear things like -  “You are Godzilla” or “お前は背の高い悪魔だ、俺の店から出て行け!” But don’t let that hurt your feelings. They’re really being super nice and friendly to you. They want you to plant your seed into their daughters - because they want their grandchildren to grow up tall and RICH.

Japanese people aren’t as rude as Chinese people, so they won’t be super aggressive towards you based on your physical features (unless you’re a fat ass), so you can kind of rest easy. There is a growing number of “Japanese incels” who are very upset that their women are dating white men, and those guys might comment on things to you in public. Don’t worry though, just hold their head down on the train track and watch them explode when a Shinkansen bullet train rips him in half.

Most of them are those weak men who refuse to confront people about things. Instead, they’ll just say snarky comments. Anytime a man says something “snarky” (a thing only women should do), you should murder him with an ax and dump his body into the Sumida.

I can’t stand snarky little “chud boys” who use implied innuendos to get their point across. As somebody who has killed before (and will kill again), those men do not last near me. I usually turn them inside out and wear them on my arm like a sock puppet.

At the end of the day, if you’re a short little manlet you might want to travel to Japan so you can get some poontang. Most likely anyone reading this article is a midget, because big people like me don’t waste time reading. You may even find a “girlfriend” who will finally look up to you. Just make sure you pretend you’re rich, otherwise they’ll lose interest pretty fast.

You know what I love about Valentine’s Day? The fact that in America, we’ve gaslit women so much that they no longer care about it. It’s so easy now for a girl to think you’re putting in “effort” when all you do is buy a card for Valentine’s Day and tell her that she’s “the only girl you’re seeing” (even though you just boned her best friend).

At the end of the day, we really don’t give a shit about Valentine’s Day. Over in Japan it’s a whole different story. Not only do they celebrate Valentine’s Day, they also celebrate White Day (No, the day isn’t a celebration of white pride. Get over it skinhead). Since this is Japan, of course they have complicated rituals and social bullshit that goes along with these holidays.

Maybe the fact the Japanese actually care about this stuff makes me think they’re endearing. Even their romantic songs are way cooler than our shit. 

Japan is based and epic, so they follow traditional gender stereotypes and don’t allow troons and ratkings to run around their streets. If you’re some butch woman I hope you’re prepared to never touch a dick in your life. Same if you’re some limp wristed effeminate man who wants his girlfriend to fix his car for him. Get a GRIP.

So, because of the fact these people care so much about their gender roles (and how society views them), they’ve decided that Valentine’s Day is the day when women have to bring gifts for men. That’s right - the WOMAN actually has to do shit. Not like how in America your wife will give you some half-hearted blowjob that feels like a chainsaw due to the amount of teeth used. (then complains after three minutes that her jaw is sore). Instead, the Japanese women give you:

CHOCOLATE

That’s right. If they’re “sweet” on you, they’ll bring you chocolate. If you get store-bought junk garbage that usually means the girl is friendzoning you. Tough shit pal. I’ve never been friend-zoned. All the women in my life make me chocolate from home. 

This is called “giri-choco”. Basically, it’s chocolate given to men by women who are just friends with them. Maybe even just work colleagues. You see, this chocolate is an “obligation” - like how girls in middle school were forced to make all the ugly smelly guys in their class homemade cards. That’s basically giri-choco.

The good news about Valentine’s Day in Japan is that it’s pretty obvious when a girl is into you or not. None of this bullshit where they pussyfoot around their feelings. Now, we all know that Japanese girls are pretty shy (until they’re in the bedroom) - so how can you tell?

As I mentioned earlier, if you get store-bought chocolate that usually means she views you as a friend. No sucky sucky for you later. You just get a variety of cheap chocolate, but hey - it’s better than what us white bastards get on Valentine’s Day from girls who are just our friends (sexual assault complaints).

If a girl actually likes you, they’ll take the time to MAKE the sweets for you. That’s how you can tell. This is called “Honmei-choco”, which basically means “from the heart” or “desire”. Essentially, it’s you saying that this chocolate comes from the heart and that you actually have “true feelings” for the person, which means you don’t just want to have awkward sex in the back of a tiny Japanese car.

Like most guys, you probably want everything easy. Can’t work for shit. Half of you don’t even have a real job. You work at factories or building houses - which rich Chinese people just purchase and fill full of Pakistani immigrants. A real man sits on the computer and works hard writing articles. Ever heard the phrase “time to learn to code?” - well it’s your time to learn how to code losers. And in this case, coding means “romancing”. 

If you’ve been paying attention to my articles, you’d realize that everything I do is for the betterment of men and women finding love. I’m a true romantic, that’s why I always ask for permission before I lick ass. Oh, what’s that? You’ve never licked ass? I bet you’ve never even seen ass. 

So, when a girl actually wants you (I suppose romantically, but the Japanese have a lot of sex anyways) they’ll make you homemade treats. By the way, I know all the women working at the JapanJunky headquarters are making me homemade chocolate. They’ll be fighting over me pretty soon. 

Oh, you’re sadly mistaken little retard. If you think that a woman has to do all the work in a relationship, that means you’re a weak bitch. If you think you can’t “return the favor”, you’re sorely mistaken.

Don’t worry. Women know most men are retarded sacks of flesh who can’t actually make anything. They don’t expect you to actually make them chocolate. This goes back to the “traditional” gender roles in Japan. The woman bakes, makes chocolate - whatever. The man has to go out and buy chocolate, flowers, gifts, etc.

So, the women show their love by doing “household” activities, whereas the men show their love by exchanging currency (time) for products (pleasure) to give to their partners (intercourse). It’s very nice to see that even in Japan, guys pretty much get away with murder.

So, why is it called White Day? Well like I mentioned earlier, the Japanese aren’t celebrating white people even though we dropped nuclear bombs on them and killed hundreds of thousands of children. It’s called white day because all of these gifts are “white”. So the chocolate has to be white, the flowers are white, the gifts are white - etc. That’s why it’s called that. Very obvious, right?

So, do men give all girls gifts on White Day? This is a day where you reciprocate gifts. In a way, it’s actually the total opposite of the rape culture in Japan. In this, women give gifts to men they’re interested in - which is them initiating a romantic relationship. In return, the man gives back a gift. 

So, if your coworker gave you some basic chocolates from a store - you return the favor and bring her some cheap white chocolates. If your partner made you homemade chocolate, you should drop $10,000 USD on some diamond rings. After all, you’re a real man. You shouldn’t do anything else besides buy your pin cushion some nice jewelry to show off to her vapid ingrate friends.

I hate that all of these other stupid articles claim it’s for “friends”. Really, white day isn’t about that. You can tell all of these articles are written by stupid Filipinos who can barely string together a coherent sentence. In what universe do grown adults give their friends chocolate for Valentine’s Day? 

No guy is going to go buy gifts for some ugly girl. If you look like your face has been beaten repeatedly by a 2x4, I highly doubt any guy is going to reciprocate and give you anything besides a swift punch to the face to fix your messed up gremlin teeth. 

This day is meant to be the “answer” to Valentine’s Day gifts. As a man I can tell you this (for the three women reading this article), you can tell if a man actually cares based on the effort he expends. If you bake him a cake, and he returns the gift by not edgemaxxing to you - is he truly the man you want? 

At the end of the day, the Japanese are not about individuality like us. They want conformity. They want people to go with the grain, not against it. By doing all of this stuff, they essentially make it so socially autistic retards like you cannot function in their society. “But what gift am I supposed to get her?” Gee retard, I don’t know - maybe sit down and think about what she gave YOU.

The Japanese culture is actually very simple to understand, and not as complex as mouth-breathing troglodytes like to make it out to be. All you have to do in Japan is not stand out. Is that so hard to understand? Just follow their rituals and they’ll know you can do what you are told. Buy the chocolates for your coworkers - otherwise, you’ll look like a white monkey freak who can’t follow simple cultural instructions.

Also, don’t be some creepy weirdo and buy women gifts unprompted for White Day. The whole point is it’s meant to be a reciprocating holiday. Yes, it’s true. Most women are gift whores who don’t care what you give them (some of them don’t even care if you give them dead parents for Valentine’s Day).

Ritualism is big in Japan, but it’s the same in America. It’s just that in America and the West-at-Large, we just tolerate these total spastics being out and about with us. Like your coworker who constantly masturbates in his cubicle - you can’t really do anything about it. You just silently judge them and try to get them fired.

Most Redditors and internet “scientists” who are nothing more than virgins have no concept of how people have sex. They think that data actually shows sexual activity rates. Due to the fact they have a declining population all of these neckbeards immediately think that means nobody is having sex.

That’s because these people live inside of a virtual world and haven’t experienced daylight in several years. Guess what - people don’t have sex the majority of the time to have children. Most people have sex to experience pleasure, blow off some steam, WHATEVER. Obviously, these man children can only imagine sex as something their parents do out of duty not love.

Almost every single young Japanese person has a body count in the hundreds. If you thought fat white women had a large body count, you’d be shocked at these little shy Japanese girls. They might cover their mouths when they laugh in Japan, but they’re letting you do all sorts of experimental Bhutanese sex moves on them.

At the end of the day, you need to understand the difference between “Valentine’s Day” and “White Day”. Don’t make a fool out of yourself in Japan, because all Asian people know each other and they’ll spread your bad habits to one another really fast. Never forget the main rule though.

DISREGARD WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY. DO WHAT YOU WANT.

Based on how much the Japanese love to drink, you’d think that they’re all drunks. In fact, right now while you’re reading this article there are many salarymen laying down on the streets with vomit all over their basic suits. By the way, why do these creepy fat white guys act like animated manga characters when they go to Japan? 

The Japanese have strict rules over “law and order”. If you break their laws, you will face heavy repercussions. It also helps that the Japanese are incredibly racist (which we all should be), so if you’re a foreign piece of shit (Johnny Somali) you’ll be thrown in prison and forced to be the new butt-slave for the local Yakuza crime boss (Doesn’t matter if it’s five inches).

The legal drinking age in Japan is 20. When you reach 20, you’re now considered a “full Adult”. You see, because Japanese people eat a healthy diet most of them live until they’re ninety. That means that in their culture, you mature “slower”. So if you want to bang an 18-year-old in Japan, you’re 100% a pedophile (I don’t care about their Age of Consent Laws).

When you’re 20, the Japanese government claims that you’re now responsible enough to actually handle yourself while you drink. Considering the Japanese suck back Sake like Drake sucks Thai ladyboy dick (I saw that happen with my own eyes).

So, “legally” you must be 20 or older to purchase and consume alcohol in Japan. Unfortunately, the Japanese are not accustomed to people breaking the law. Gee, I wonder why. Maybe it’s because their country is full of Japanese people, and not Somalian “refugees” who were rapists and pirates.

Anyways, most Japanese people don’t give a shit about this law. They just buy liquor when they’re 18. They don’t even card you over there. Is that much of a surprise, considering you could legally have sex with a 16-year-old in Japan? So you legally cannot drink alcohol, but you can let a Dutch expat lick your ass like a fruit rollup.

Japanese people are slow. They think that the world is full of people who are polite and honorable. WRONG. Most people are scumbags that rape kids for magic powers. So they don’t even bother carding you because they assume you’d feel great “shame” in breaking the law. 

That’s probably also why they don’t care about kids being diddled at such a young age. They assume it’ll all be “above board” (NEWSFLASH PEDOPHILES - YOU SHOULDN’T HARNESS THEIR KID ENERGY). In Japan, you’ll see stores that don’t even have shop attendants. That’s how much they trust people.

Imagine if you saw a store like down on the south side of Chicago. I’m pretty sure it’d be looted within fifteen minutes. Little dindus riding away in their stolen G Wagons full of your store's equipment and food. 

It’s all about “honor”. You know, only 70 years ago these Japanese people were cutting themselves in half instead of facing dishonor. I’m pretty sure they still kill themselves a lot over feeling cultural shame. That’s why getting gash is so easy over there. Just guilt trip one of those cute little Asians into slobbing you down, and if it’s between your dick and a katana they’ll pick your dick 8/10 times.

Public drinking is encouraged in Japan. In fact, it’s even celebrated. Nothing is better than being drunk, wandering around the streets of Tokyo screaming at white people, and then passing out in a bush. By the way, nobody will steal your shit if you pass out in public. Unless more “Johnny Somalis” come to Japan (unfortunately, it looks like their Government is opening up the floodgates on mass rapist immigration) - so just be aware that in a couple of years, you won’t be able to do that.

You see, everyone is a drunken piece of shit over in Japan. Life is so sad and depressing, that these salarymen are all permanently intoxicated. In Japan, seeing a drunken salaryman with pissed-stained slacks is pretty much the norm. 

As a foreigner, you should walk around drunk and act SUPER obnoxious. Just walk up to Japanese people and ask them if you can taste their “sushi roll”. That should make them warm up to you. Most Japanese people are incredibly receptive to drunken retarded foreigners. 

So yeah, drinking in public is totally fine. Drive drunk too - but only if you want to be thrown in a Japanese prison and spend a night with Johnny Somali.

It’s the best drinking culture in the world. I love the idea of forcing my little slaves (employees) to drink with me after work on their own time. Furthermore, I love the fact that if people say “no” to going out to get drinks I can pretty much fire them for being retarded buzzkills who shouldn’t even have a job. 

You see, it’s expected of coworkers to go out drinking. It’s actually an awesome idea. I think all of you Amazon wage slaves should be forced to do the same thing. Imagine if you all got to go out and drink with your manager. That’d be so fun. Then when they come onto you (and you can’t say no), you get to experience workplace rape.

Most of you retards imagine yourselves as the employees. Why do you do that? You basically settle for mediocrity. You see you should think you’re gonna be the “boss”, with a bunch of pretty girls surrounded around you (out of fear of losing their employment). That’s why Japan rocks.

It’s totally normal to bring your date out on picnics. Over in North America, the idea of bringing a girl out on a romantic picnic is laughable. Why would you bring some cock gobbling gremlin out on a fancy date in public? Half the guys looking at her probably stroked their hog to her on OnlyFans. Add alcohol to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster (especially because public violence is frowned upon).

The Japanese are still conservative, so getting wasted in a public park and acting annoying is still seen as okay. A lot of Japanese men and women will go on super cute dates under cherry blossom trees, and have some liquor. No going to some dive Applebees. You take your girlfriend (or compensated dating companion) out on REAL DATES.

This is called “Hanami”. Basically, it means enjoying flowers. Mainly, it means enjoying the cherry blossom tree. All across Japan in the springtime, those in romantic relationships will flock to the cherry blossom trees. ISN’T THAT SO CUTE? Well, newsflash - IT ISN’T! Imagine a massive party going until the late evening hours, with full-blown orgies happening under cherry blossom trees. Actually, now that I wrote that - it is actually awesome.

At the end of the day though, I know YOU won’t like it. It involves going outside and seeing the sun. You’d rather take your “date” (prostitute) out to an arcade (pedophile) or Uber them to your apartment so they can see your fungus-infected dick. DISGUSTING!

Shochu has been described as the “vodka of Japan” by neckbearded losers who don’t understand alcohol because their only knowledge of drinking comes from TV shows. Shochu is much more special than that. The only similarity is that they’re made from potatoes, but apart from that shochu is better than vodka (because it’s more expensive to import and is Japanese). Additionally, shochu is actually less strong than Vodka (which makes it better to drink out in public in binge drinking fests).

If you do buy Shochu, don’t mix it with anything. Mixing alcohol with things makes you gay. Are you a gay little boy, or are you a strong masculine man? If you want to be a masculine man (like me), you need to drink shochu on the rocks. No you mongoloid, “on the rocks” doesn’t mean drinking things filtered through rocks (what the hell are you, some Yuppie?) It means drinking it with only ice.

Other things important to note about Shochu are the complicated rituals surrounding it. You see, if you pour some shochu into a Captain America mug you’ll be seen as a massive retard. You need a Shochu glass. Other people get to drink before you do (if you’re hosting, which you probably are since I doubt anyone wants to invite you over), and saying your gratitudes before drinking.

Sake is the other “cultural” drink of Japan that all of us Westerners know. “GIVE ME THE SAKE NOW!” Is one of my go-to phrases in Japan. I just scream it at everyone and usually, they do their polite Japanese smile and laugh and try to get the hell away from me before I assault them. Sake is a more “spiritual” drink as the Japanese offer it to their “Gods” (They worship brooms, no I’m not kidding - I’ll explain in a later article).

Sake is lighter and more fruity than Shochu. For that reason, it’s the best drink to use to get a Japanese girl to take off her panties. That’s why all of us white devils love yelling “SAKE!” when we go out. I’m just kidding - just use gin for that. Really, I think Sake is just a wine. I think wine is incredibly gay to drink when out and about unless you’re sucking back Girl’s Night Out Wine.

Drinking is a time-honored tradition in Japan. They drink a lot. They love to get drunk in public and have rituals involving the consumption of their liquor. Is that any different over in America? I mean, would you drink whiskey out of a funny cup? I doubt it - unless you’re a drunk. If you’re a drunk you just drink straight from the bottle. If you’re an infantile loser you might drink your whiskey out of a sippy cup.

I’m SUPER EXCITED to be a writer for JapanJunky. My name is グレゴリー, also known as “Greg”. I recently moved to the Tokyo region on a full visa, after my wife and her partner helped me get the funds together!

When you imagine the coolest and most #epic product what comes to mind? Nintendo Switch (Go Mario!), perhaps some manga? I personally have been collecting FunkoPops! for several years now (My rarest one is the metallic James Rhodes collectible - worth over $600!). In Japan they do not have “funkopops” and instead have Nendoroids. Today, we will be ranking the top five Nendoroids. These will be ranked based off of physical style (How cute it is ^-^), how much money it might be worth, and how #Nendoroid it truly is!

Wow! Stan Lee truly is THE MAN!! Without him, we wouldn’t have my all time favorite superhero (GO IRONMAN! DEATH TO DC!) This Nendoroid is dedicated in honor to a man who practically saved the world as we know it. Stan Lee dedicated much of his time to honoring victims of the holocaust #stunning.

I think for any Marvel fan, this is a must purchase for your blossoming Nendoroid collection. I think as a centerpiece this is truly marvelous, as you can have all of the Marvel heroes looking up to Stan Lee. It would be perfect for your “marvel shrine”, as we all know no self respecting Marvel fan is found without the Marvel shrine in their domicile. 

In my expert opinion, the Stan Lee Nendoroid will be worth $1000 in six years - due to the fact that Marvel is now slowing down on its movie production. Marvel still routinely makes the most out of any movie franchise, and that means it truly is THE BEST!

So what are you waiting for? Purchase the Stan Lee Nendoroid NOW!!

Hatsune Miku really makes me warm in my nether regions (MINECRAFT! I AM A DWARF AND I'M DIGGY DIGGY HOLE) I think she is absolutely kawaii and STUNNING! I think Hatsune Miku is the ultimate purchase for any Nendoroid collector.

#1930 is truly beautiful, as her eyes are closed and this is incredibly rare for a Nendoroid. This of course increases the value of the product, but it simply is not as “kawaii” as some other Hatsune Miku figures. I believe that this is a great choice for an investor, who is looking to put their money into a retirement object.

As I am a massive fan of collections, I think that you should have “sets” of Nendoroids. For the low price of maybe $100, this could be yours! In roughly five years, it is my expert opinion this could be worth upwards of $5000, especially with how the vocaloid genre is taking off!

Are you surprised? I for one LOVE Hatsune Miku. My current Hatsune Miku Nendoroids are currently bathed in a jar right now in my room in Tokyo. This one is especially good, especially as you can see the thigh fat of the Nendoroid bulge around her knee high socks.

Unlike the last one, the eyes are open which is definitely not as rare - but it definitely makes this super cute and kawaii! YOU MUST PURCHASE THIS. If you are a member of the Nendoroid family, or even the vocaloid family this is a MUST BUY! 

One thing that is rare is the open mouth (The things you could do if it was truly open - (>w<) hehe) which definitely increases the value of this product! It won’t be worth as much as number 4, so we put this in the ballpark area of $2000 in roughly five years.

I love skirts. I’m not ashamed to admit I own a few skirts myself. In fact, before I moved to Japan I would frequently dress up in a Japanese schoolgirl uniform and watch my wife and her partner together! It truly was a bonding experience, and Nendoroid #2089 reminds me of the costume I would wear.

Perhaps I’m being selfish, and this isn’t truly a “great” Nendoroid. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? OF COURSE IT IS GREAT - IT’S HATSUNE MIKU! The pig tails make me super moist, and I think that this would look great with the Stan Lee Nendoroid. Stan Lee could be surrounded by four different Hatsune Miku Nendoroids - like his own personal harem! That’s what Stan Lee deserved, after all.

I won’t say this is a “must buy”, but if you want to complete the harem set you MUST get this one. I do not see the value rising substantially on this, SO BE WARNED!

Wow! Can you say “cute”?? This charming little figurine is sure to make you change your underwear. This takes the number one spot for several reasons. Firstly, who DOESN’T love Hatsune Miku? She is such a cute little kawaii baby. 

Probably one of the most popular Nendoroids in the upcoming September edition, this is surely going to be worth A LOT of money. If you love Japan like I do, you’re definitely going to order SEVERAL of these figurines. 

Now, I love inclusion in my FunkoPop! Collection, so it’s important that my Nendoroids have the same level of inclusion. It might come as a shock to some of you, but Hatsune Miku is actually (gasp!) Non-Binary!!! So make sure you buy those LGBT flags and hang them up above your Nendoroid display case.

I’m going to be sending one of these back to my wife in the States, since our anniversary is coming up in the next couple weeks. I hope my little Hatsune Miku is enjoying her time with Daquarius back in Akron.

Regardless, I hope this article will serve you fine gentlemen (and, perhaps, a couple ladies) well in their Nendoroid search. Until next time, I am your friendly neighborhood Japanese reviewer! Make sure you leave a comment as to what YOUR favorite Nendoroid is!

Yellowfever’s Note:

Greg didn’t last long in the office. We don’t really like coomsumers, so I’ve actually killed him with a claw hammer and dumped him in a drainage pipe outside of Kyoto. We’re still gonna use his retarded articles so we can recoup our losses on him.

Who the hell reads this shit?

Warning Flaggets: Do not read this BASED article

The beautiful and sexy city of Tokyo has two distinct flags. One is their ceremonial and stately flag, and the other is their “symbolic flag” - which represents their city internally. The first, with its majestic and beautiful purple background, symbolizes nobility - with a sun shining bright on its field. The second is a ginkgo leaf on a white banner - bringing peace and prosperity to the Tokyo Area.

Do you love flags? Oh, who am I kidding - the only people who would ever search for this article are probably weirdly obsessed with flags. I get it, I do. I think we all love weird things. Personally, I hate flags. I think they’re [REDACTED] and the people who like them are equally as [REDACTED].

Today for all you flag-loving weeaboos, we have a special treat for you. The history of the “Flag of Tokyo”. Not only that, we will discuss the symbolic nature of the iconography - except I fully disagree with what the Japanese claim is their symbols. I can already hear you squeal with excitement over learning the history of these awfully designed flags.

Who designed them? You’d probably think that the person who made these flags had their eyes melted out when the bombs dropped on Japan, but you’d be wrong! Hiromoto Watanbe “created” (If you can call drawing an image of an anus “creation”) the Tokyo Metropolitan flag. WOW! It’s almost as if his ancestors knew that Watanbe would be the hero for all the Want to Be Japanese people who live in America! 

Not much is known about the designer of the ceremonial flag. Probably for good reason, too. I doubt that Watanabe wanted his anal fetish to become public knowledge. Most likely, I could see him working as some sort of teacher or journalist - typically those are the largest sex pests in any nation.

I imagine a lot of you are typing out angry posts on Reddit about how I didn’t even talk about the colour of the Metropolitan or the Ceremonial flag. How “important” it is they choose Purple. “Oh, Purple is not chosen a lot for flags! It’s so unique and interesting that Tokyo picked purple for their flag!” Yeah, that’s the most interesting thing about Tokyo. Not their robot sex cafes - God no, it’s the colour of their flag.

WELL, NEWS FLASH!!! Purple means the same EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD! Yep, it is associated with “royalty”. I think we can safely say that means that either all nobility comes from Jippon or, I want you to brace yourselves for this - the Japanese are all secretly white guys from the Roman Empire. Actually, I take that back. I’ve never seen people actually defecating in public in Japan like I have in France.

Don’t you think it’s CRAZY that purple seems to always be associated with royalty? Well, I think it has to do with how expensive the purple dye is (So a YouTube video told me). This Japanese website claims the “noblest colour in the world is Kaimurasaki”. It is crazy the lengths advertisers will go to, just to make a quick buck. 

Well, I guess the anus design is draped in the “noblest colour in the world”. That’s nice. Hopefully it doesn’t leave any stains on the noblest colour in the world. Now, this is truly NUTS - The Japanese couldn’t have just one flag for Tokyo they had to make two. It’s like everything the West does, they need to do two times as good. Well, in this case - two times as bad.

Some people (flaggets) say that the anus symbol represents a “sun”. I don’t know if the Japanese are blind, but the sun doesn’t have a dot in the middle of it. I much prefer my analysis of the symbol than it being a “sun”. 

Now, I spoke about the “Official” or “Ceremonial” flag. They have another flag that, frankly, looks better. I don’t care what the r/vexillology dweebs say! (“HUE I TIP MY FEDORA TO YOU GOOD SIR!”)  I really love the green thong that they designed on this flag.

Hold on. One of their flags is an anus, and the next flag is a thong? One has to think about that. It’s the perfect pairing. Maybe the Japanese are onto something with this. I know that the Japanese are anus-fetishists, but I didn’t realize they’d implant their sick perversions into their flags. I’m kidding (or am I?) but I think the flags look suspect. Think about your own municipal flag. Let’s take the city of Akron Ohio, a city known for its robust culture. Nothing about the flag of Akron, Ohio looks sexual in nature. 

The meaning of the Tokyo flag supposedly is meant to represent a “ginko leaf”. This ginko leaf is green, and is meant to show the prosperity of the Tokyo area. What is a ginkgo leaf?  Imagine a clover but with down syndrome. That’s basically what a ginko leaf looks like. I can kind of see the similarities between the leaf and the thong symbol, but I much prefer MY INTERPRETATION. I think Japan needs to embrace its cute sexual nature with foreigners, and stop acting like it’s some mystical Kingdom.

Having two flags is interesting, right? I don’t really think so. I’m sure you little flaggets are so excited to learn WHY they have two flags. Well, I want you to sit down and think about something: What is the population of the Tokyo Metropolitan Area? It has a metro area population of forty million people, OH MY GOD! Isn’t that crazy? Think about all the hot asian girls you can meet in the Tokyo Metropolitan Area! 

So, the Tokyo Metropolitan Area flag is the anus symbol. The thong symbol seems to appear mainly within the city itself, on public transit (WHO WANTS TO USE STINKY PUBLIC TRANSIT?). Think about this, does your state have a state flag? It definitely does (Unless it has confederate iconography - THEN IT ISN’T COOL BUD!) and you’re probably from some backwoods state like Arkansas that has only a quarter of the population of Tokyo. That means the entire REGION gets a flag, and then the city get’s a flag too. Alright? Are you happy now?

For a country that was formed before the Roman Republic even existed, it is worth noting that their Tokyo flags are MODERN INVENTIONS! CAN YOU HECKING BELIEVE THAT? I always thought everything in Japan was super old (OMEGALUL!) In all seriousness, I do think it is interesting that Tokyo never had an old flag - then I thought to myself when did cities start getting their own flags?

I couldn’t find anything, but it seems a lot of municipal flags (similar to Tokyo) started popping up in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. I don’t even know why regional or city governments require flags. What is the purpose of them? A symbol of power? I don’t do a lot of deep thinking, so I’m not really interested in delving deeper into this topic (Again, I’m sure the Redditor flaggets can comment on it).

Basically, I’ll sum up the article like this for you. The Japanese have awful city flags. If you care about the significance of their flags you’re either a student or a massive flagget. The purple anus flag is a “sun” that is for the whole region. The down syndrome clover flag / thong flag is the symbol of the area. Why the Japanese think they need two is stupid, but who am I to judge?

Japan is not as crime-free as you may think.

Is kidnapping seen as a ‘problem’ in Japan? Scientists would say ‘no’ - and those scientists would be from Japan. The culture seems to overlook kidnapping, as well as other serious crimes against children. In this article, we will explore what this means and what it looks like in a modern-day Jippon.

Japan is the world capital of child abduction, worse than Somalia and Afghanistan. This means it was a perfect country for me to visit back in the day, before I married my wife Chihiro (I call her Hirohito). Some of the weeaboos will defend Japan, saying that child abduction is “okay” and just what the Japanese do. I’m here to tell you that CHILD ABDUCTION IS NEVER FUNNY OR “OKAY”!!!!

The Japanese “government” covers up the kidnapping rates, claiming it is only 0.2 kidnappings per 100,000 people. Uh….how do you kidnap two tenths of a child? Do you cut them up first? That seems pretty fucking violent to me. Regardless, about two thousand Japanese people were arrested for crimes against children (hint: the word begins with ‘M’ and rhymes with ‘Train Station’).

Imagine this scenario. A husband and wife divorce and the wife takes the children (Because they don’t ‘train-station’ their children like the husbands usually do, YUCK!). The husbando is upset and tracks down the kid and seizes them from the mother. Guess what? That’s called kidnapping DUDE. But over in Japan they think that’s alright - and that is why the kidnapping rate is so low in Japan compared to America or Canada.

It seems that the Japanese simply do not view ‘familial kidnapping’ as an issue. There have been attempts to change this. The government of Japan has implemented national plans of action to end child sexual abuse and kidnapping. I guess that’s good, but you have a real serious problem if the government is handling these issues and not some soppy NGO that is run by rich stay-at-home wives.

Beyond the scope of Japan, it seems a lot of gaijin like to run to Japan with their kidnapped victims in tow. Of course, the Japanese government doesn’t care at all about you bringing along your kidnapping victim with you. I hate that Japan ignores stuff like this. They want to pretend they live in some sci-fi utopia, but it’s more like Blade Runner. Not the cool Blade Runner 2049 either, I mean the one from the eighties where everything was super gritty and the protagonist was a drunken sexual abuser.

Kidnapping and abduction is one crime, but the crime that typically follows kidnapping and abduction is sexual assault. 

Let’s break down these numbers: One in five Japanese women say they were sexually abused while a child. One in thirteen Japanese men say they were sexually abused while a child. So far, no reports on how many non-binary Japanese people were abused - but I’d say most likely all of them were.

It seems that you can’t find a straight answer on child sexual abuse in Japan, with it being between 10% and 60% for young girls. That is insane. I can see now why so many fat disgusting white guys fly to Japan. You’re DISGUSTING if you visit Japan, you sick degenerate pervert. It’s weird too that the range is SO large. I think that the Government of Japan and families silence victims to make their country appear “better”. We all know your country stinks, it’s run by drunken American GIs who take what they want. They roam the countryside of Japan like warbands - just look at some of the desolate towns near American bases.

Sex ‘crimes’ are very high in Tokyo especially. Child prostitutes roam the streets of Tokyo as if it were a lawless wild western brothel town. It’s in plain sight but most gaijin don’t notice it. I must have a certain look because I usually find these child brothels pretty easily in Tokyo. If you look for these brothels you are a sick individual, and you should only EVER engage with women of age who were sex trafficked. Never lower yourself to having sex with an underage child, even if the age of consent in Japan is sixteen. I know you sick freaks are upset since they recently raised their age of consent from thirteen to sixteen. Yeah, I’m looking at YOU r/Japan.

A large issue with this is the American GI population in Japan. Soldiers are some of the dirtiest, scummiest individuals you’d ever meet on the planet. I spit on them when they want me to “thank them for their ‘service’”. What service? Hiring Japanese child prostitutes, sexually abusing Japanese men and women, and generally being an annoying nuisance in the towns of Japan? During the occupation (which, by the way, is still ongoing) forty Japanese women per day were raped by American GIs. Pretty rookie compared to Russians, but still up there considering you probably shouldn’t rape people - especially since you can easily hire prostitutes in Japan.

There are 2,000 American marines (HOO-RAH) stationed in Japan. FACT: Anime was created by the CIA and Zionist elites to psyop the Japanese to be submissive breedable femboys - but THE BEAST LAYS BELOW. The 2,000 marines who diddle the little kids won’t be able to last long when the noble Japanese Samurai awaken and expel them from their lands. Guess what Americucks? Only the Japanese can sexually abuse their children! Get your paws off them.

I’d also like to note the…complexion of the Marines who have been doing these perverted sexual crimes. I’m not saying anything about it, but, unusually, the only three black marines in Japan were sexually abusing little girls. Of course, we know that those boys didn’t do nothing, but it’s unusual that such disgusting racism is as prevalent in Japan as it is in the United States.

So, if you want to score some poon in Japan where do you go? Firstly, don’t go to the local USA barracks because they’re probably elbow-deep in some Japanese schoolgirls (HOO-RAH BOYS, AMIRITE?) I might be a sex-addicted FREAK, but I’m never going to touch those under the age of consent in Japan (Which is now 16, by the way - make sure you don’t go below that!)

The best place to score some Japanese poon (They don’t shave) is at these places called “soapland”. Basically, as a foreigner, you’re gonna get ripped off. They save the best-looking skanks for the locals but don’t buy into that bull. You need to go in there, sweaty and full of testosterone, and SCREAM at the local Japanese pimps face to get him to show you his finest poontang.

Editor’s Note: Due to criminal liability concerns, the rest of the article is locked behind a paywall. To see more, please consider subscribing to Japanjunky today!

Being fat is disgusting. If you’re a fat piece of shit, you should be mocked and ridiculed for overeating. In Japan they actually make sure these fat asses are kept down, because otherwise you’d have to see chubby girls with their muffin tops hanging over jeans which are two sizes too small for them.

You’ve probably heard about how Japan has made it “illegal” to be fat. While that is not true, it should be. People who are fat should be rounded up and put into “diet camps” where you’re forced to clean up nuclear sludge and have a strict kelp diet. The Japanese are prolific human experimenters as well. They microwaved Chinese people during WW2 to see what would happen, so they could probably do the same to fat people.

In Japan, it is very unusual to see overweight people. If you’re overweight (and not a sumo wrestler), you’re basically taking up valuable space in Japan. When I was in Japan, I noticed all the chubby Japanese girls (who I’d NEVER touch with my meat pole) all had serious mental issues. They were either “mentally ill” (possessed by Oni) or slightly retarded.

If you look at most chubby people in Japan (as seen here) they’re borderline lolcows who should be kept away from the public. I want you ALL to translate the posts on this. The Japanese are not your typical Americans. They aren’t feminized. One comment basically tells this person to lose weight and to fix their goofy teeth. Japan is brutal. That’s why I love Japan.

Other videos show fat people charging at innocent hot Japanese girls and attacking them. Is that what we want Japan to come to? We need to protect all the skinny girls from the fat whales, who are jealous of the fact that both Japanese Men and White Men want to get with them. That’s why they’re so deranged.

So, is it illegal to be fat? No, not a “de jure” law - but it is de facto. The Japanese will mock, insult, and put you down for being overweight. Walking around from place to place is very common as well. How can you do that when you’re 600 pounds and suffering from BPD?

When you look at all of the successful people in Japan, they’re fit and attractive. Why? Is it because ALL Japanese people are attractive? Definitely not. It’s because the uglies and flabbies are locked away deep inside some shitbox apartment that costs $100 USD a month, wasting away watching anime and consuming manga (and shitting themselves). Do you think they’re locked away because they want to be? 

Look at America and Canada. All of the fat people are out on full display. Their massive grundles hanging below their belt, for the whole world to see. Back home, nobody gives a shit about how they look or how they act. Over in Japan, you’d probably NEVER see a girl looking disheveled (like how all the girls in America look like they were just gangbanged by sixteen black guys). Sure, the Japanese girl probably was too - but at least she was classy enough to put on makeup after.

Retards who can’t read assume it’s illegal because there is a version of the “fat tax” in Japan. It’s actually pretty progressive, since the tax isn’t even that bad. When you’ve over consumed your entire life (it’s always a woman too), and become an obese monster you pose a significant health risk for the community.

Firstly, the police will unfortunately not round up the fatties and put them in those diet camps I mentioned earlier. It’s just a social taboo to be fat in Japan. A lot of western losers will cry about how it’s not “fair” at how the fatties are treated. To me, it just makes sense.

There is something known as the “Metabo Laws”. Of course the Japanese give it some stupid ass name. Basically, it’s about controlling metabolic illnesses which can occur. The idea is simple. At the age of 40, your Doctor will measure your waistline and ensure you fall within proper guidelines. 

You might be thinking, “Do I go to jail if I eat all my twinkies?” and the answer is NO. “Will I be fined?” ABSOLUTELY NOT! That’s why I’m so pissed off. Instead of you being fined, they fine the local municipality or your company. Why  would your company be fined for you being a fat ass? 

I think if I had the choice between hiring a fat person in Japan (and possibly being fined), or hiring an attractive petite Japanese girl who I can bang on my desk all day long - I’d choose the hot girl. 

THAT IS THE POINT THOUGH! You mouth breathing reddit retards who think that it’s not “technically” illegal need to WAKE UP. FATTIES ARE NOT HIRED. I can tell your jowls are shaking on your disgusting blubber face. Your gluttony is not rewarded in Japan.

It really isn’t a bad thing. I was tired of seeing fat losers with skid marks walking around in public, so I moved to Japan. Now some of these people are getting “western” ideas and think you should pity the shitty pants fat retards, but I think you should just put them on the kelp diet and teach them to really go deep on the bidet cleaning.

Nope. If you think being fat is okay, you’re probably some weak wristed beta male who would wait until his girlfriend proposed for marriage. Of course being fat isn’t okay. You put a heavy burden on your country - both figuratively and literally.

I’m not going to pull up the stats on how unhealthy it is to be fat. Let’s just remember this: All women need to be skinny and look breedable. If you’re a guy you need to dominate and throw these little women around. If they’re too big that’s a turn off. You might as well bang a guy at that point and be bottomed out.

So, does the “Matebo Laws” work and help reduce obesity in Japan? Definitely.

Both countries are comparable. The Japanese use robots for manual labour, the Americans used black people. The actual numbers work out to being about this. 6.0% of Japanese Men are “obese” (most of these are masculine sumo wrestlers) and only 4.3% of Japanese Women are obese. 

Are you ready to hear the numbers in America? It’s no wonder all of the hot, single, and eligible male bachelors are fleeing America at greater numbers to find hot Asian women. 43% of men are obese in America, and 42% of women are obese. 

Do you ever wonder why? Do you think it’s because in Japan, being fat is seen as being extremely mentally ill and effectively making your life impossible to live? OBVIOUSLY! If we did the same thing to the massive black holes over in North America (and Europe, most Europeans are fatties too) then we’d reduce our obesity rate to single digits (basically only those with mental illness would be fat).

I can’t stand you little weak men who will gossip about this article too. You’ll say things like “Yellowfever is taking that out of context” or “He isn’t talking about the dietary differences!” You sniveling little coward. You’re so mentally obtuse, you don’t even realize that:

FOOD IS CULTURE

Any person who took a basic social justice Anthropology 101 class would know that (and if you DID NOT take an anthropology class, that means you’re a poor loser and I don’t want to communicate with you). Food makes the society you live in. They also eat that food because it’s healthier than consuming two big macs a day, pumping back six coffees, and sucking massive load. That’s why they’re skinny and healthy, and you’re a fat loser who can’t wipe their own ass.

Look, there is a reason why in America being fat is “celebrated”. Look at those two sisters who collectively weigh more than a small vehicle, the “1000 lb Sisters”. Look at the one fat ass who dances but can’t seem to lose weight. It’s celebrated over in America because all of you are fat pieces of shit and want to see yourselves on television. When a fat person is on TV in Japan, they’re forced to eat actual human shit.

It’s obvious that many of the Japanese people care a lot about fashion and beauty. We are in the era of the “e girl influencers”, so if we compare western e girls to the e girls in Japan there is no comparison. The men in Japan also dress a lot better. Even the good looking guys in America dress like they shop at a disgusting Walmart.

It is very hard to find “large” sizes in Japan. That’s why you frequently will see landwhales wearing clothing that makes them look like a toddler with a bib on. Their shirts are so shrunken that, effectively, they cannot even go outside without being embarrassed and made fun of.

If you asked a Sumo Wrestler if he was fat, he’d probably throw you through a wall and then obliterate your boy-hole for daring to suggest a trained athlete is the same as a fat loser mukbanging degenerate. Here is some information for you guys.

Body sculptors are weak and are unable to contend with the full strength of powerlifters or sumo wrestlers. They are not just “fat” they have high amounts of strength and endurance. They are not the same as Joe and Barbara from Oklahoma who shove truckloads of potato chips into their gaping holes.

Also, all the hot girls in Japan love the Sumo Wrestlers. One of my good friends does Sumo. It’s hard to meet up with him (due to the rules of sumo), but when we do go out it’s great. Instead of hiring fat people to follow me around like some loser, I’d rather make friends with the amazing sumo guys (it’s called not being socially retarded and making friends).

So, that answers the question “is it illegal to be Fat in Japan”. The answer is no, it is not illegal. However it is heavily discouraged through both fines (to your corporation or municipality, which in turn causes them to not want to hire fatties or have fatties living in their city). Furthermore, the culture of Japan prevents fat people from being seen as “serious”. 

You gotta dress a lot better than you do, man.

So, a giant fat American chud like yourself is looking to get into the Japanese fashion scene. I’d be impressed if you could actually fit into their designer brands, especially since an XXL in Japan is probably a Medium in North America. Who am I to judge you if you want to piss away your money on ill-fitted Japanese denim, especially when you probably typically spend most of your welfare cheque on donating to the newest and hottest CIA funded psyop e-girl pornstar.

Like all good things in Japan, denim became popular when all of the USA marines came over and started bringing (forcing) their culture on the people. That’s why rape statistics have blown to unfathomable numbers ever since American GIs have landed in Japan. The love for denim is HOT in Japan.

Since the mid nineties, it has become increasingly more affordable for young people in Japan to own some good quality denim brands. We will explore the world of the best Japanese Denim Brands - that actual Japanese buy (and are not made to export to freaks living in California).

Many denim companies still hand stitch their jeans, which not only enhances the quality of the denim but adds a level of “spirituality” to the product. You see, when a craftsman pours his energy into hand making something for a customer, a part of his soul is put into that product. By wearing his jeans, you’re carrying around his life essence. 

In North America, we mainly have Levi and Dickies for good quality denim (even if both are used for different things, with Dickies mainly being used for work). Dickies is mass produced by little Honduran child slaves, and Levi is made by drunk Mexicans in a factory. Neither of which give you the “life energy” you need when wearing special hand crafted pants.

When you have a choice between something which was mass produced or a handcrafted product which can cost half that cost - it should be a no brainer. Especially since you eat up Japanese culture like a fly eats shit. You just can’t get enough - SO BUY FROM ONE OF THESE FIVE JAPANESE DENIM BRANDS NOW!

You know when you see pictures of all the edgy Japanese people full of kid energy, walking around in amazingly designed street wear? Essentially, Insakura caters to that style. Of note is their “denim harem” style, which features the rolled up bottom and a “scrubs” like appearance that makes it edgy and hip.

Something is super hot about a really attractive girl wearing dumpy looking jeans like that. It’s like you don’t care about your appearance, but you actually do. It says “I don’t care” (even though you do care). 

As for you, you probably would like the fact it looks like scrubs. I know I do. When I was an orderly in America, I loved wearing scrubs. They were very easy to take off when I was hooking up with all the hot nurses I know that you’re getting no shortage of the gash, since you’ve read my dating articles and are probably drowning in women throwing themselves at you.

Anyways, if you buy this for your paid for date she’ll love you (in your head). You have to make sure it’s for one of those “alt” girls though. They’re super punk and love to KICK ASS! If you wear this you’re telling the world “LOOK AT ME, I’M SPECIAL!” Which is what we all want in life!

This is the “easy” choice for high quality Japanese pants. Not only are they insanely cheap (roughly $250 USD - which is chump change), they’re hand crafted and designed by Japanese robots in Kojima. At the end of the day if you purchase this brand of denim, you’ll be totally fine.

I’m not going to be a moron and recommend certain pants to you. Why? Because you might be a fat-ass lardhole who consumes everything around them to hide their “feelings” for their sister. In that case I’d probably recommend the wide fit.

One of the reason so many of the Japanese fetishists love Momotaro is because it’s very easy to ship their products over to the States and Canada. I was really excited to see their denim jackets. They have a VERY large selection of pants. 

I’m Canadian, so I love denim jackets. The Momotaro denim jackets look like dog shit, in my opinion. I do not like the white band around the arm, since that reminds me of the gestapo. Currently they have a single jacket without the white gestapo armband. This is the only acceptable Momotaro denim jacket, and I really don’t care what dumb lazy Americans have to say on denim jackets since wearing a denim jacket paired with denim pants is called a “canadian tuxedo” for a reason.

You know the Japanese get fancy when they bust out their broken French skills. I really enjoy their “Salesman” line. Good luck understanding a single word on their page, since it’s all in Japanese and half of it doesn’t make any sense. You can tell that this company has no white people working for it, which is a massive positive because white foreigners in Japan are typically kid grooming freaks.

Their products are very nice (really, D’Artisan is one of the few good brands that Japan has for designer denim). I always go to the jackets first, and the “Salesman Jacket” actually uses light colour blocking techniques which is unique compared to the other brands I reviewed.

The pants are nice, and are obviously made to compliment the accompanying jacket. It follows that VERY SUBTLE colour blocking (a darker colour paired with a lighter), which makes it really pop and stand out.

I think pretty much everyone knows Evisu, and it’s for good reason. What’s that you little maggot? You don’t know what Evisu is? Are you some culturally stunted moron from the suburbs of Richmond? Truth be told, Evisu is the “high end” denim brand in Japan. That means you probably cannot afford it with your monthly government allowance.

However, on the off chance you can - this is much superior than Momotaro. I love looking at denim jackets before looking at the pants, because if a company puts in a lot of effort into the jacket that means their pants will be phenomenal.

Evisu is perfect for the Japanese “punk” who wants to show off some nice designs on their denim. My favourite jacket from Evisu looks like it belongs in cyberpunk. If you want that edgy feel, definitely wear this brand.

Unfortunately, none of what they make will look good on a fat guy. You’ll need to be thin to pull off this look. Imagine if you say some beast walking down the aisle of a Walmart, and they were wearing that jacket? Not cool.

Their pants are equally as flashy. Flashy is back in style, baby. No more toned down bullshit. The issue I have with Evisu (and why it’s only number 2), is that their flashy pants do not pair well with their jackets. I think when you have the flash, you need to tone it down.

Toned down denim jeans go better with a funky and fresh jacket, then wacky pants go with a toned down jacket. That’s just how life is. If you don’t like it, don’t buy these jackets. These denim jackets are designed for Gods, not for little boys playing with nendoroids.

If you want a ranking based solely off jackets, Evisu is number one hands down. However, we’re looking for overall appeal and I believe that their pants (while amazing) offset their brand as a whole. If you bought plain denim pants with a fancy jacket, that would work wonderfully for your compensated date with a little 18 year old.

The main reason why I’ve ranked ONI as number one, is because of the fact that an actual demon is producing their products. No, I do not mean that figuratively. They have an actual Oni (from Phasmophobia) actually sewing their denim using magical powers.

Remember how I talked about spiritual energy being inside of your pants? Well, I’d say that an actual oni working its magic into your jeans ensures that you’re pretty much the coolest kid in town. Imagine saying to somebody, “Oh yeah my pants? A fucking demon created these pants in a sweatshop. Aren’t these cool?” You’ll be the talk of the schizophrenic ward!

Oni Denim is fantastic for a number of reasons. Firstly, I believe their jackets are very reasonably priced for what they are. A 20 oz rough denim jacket is in the $300 USD price range. That is cheap for a designer brand, especially one that is from overseas. If you can't afford that, you should probably work harder. Stop being poor.

Of course I love the jackets, but how do their pants hold up in comparison? At the end of the day fashion is highly subjective, but I really enjoy the hand stitching they do on some of their denim. They stitch the face of an Oni on the back pocket face, which really makes their brand iconography “pop”. 

Everyone knows the oni face is awesome. You should probably buy from this brand just because of that. I love branding. Oni beats out Evisu because oni does everything “right”. It’s good quality, has nice branding (easily identifiable), and both their pants and jackets look classic and perfect for everyone.

What is the most respected profession in the world? You may dream of images of a doctor, a lawyer, or a police officer. Something that society as a whole looks at and says “you’re a somebody”. You probably think that because you’re nothing more than a proto-worm walking around in manflesh. The most respectable profession in the world is a “compensated dater”, you know those people who go on fake dates with fat losers so they don’t feel too bad? These cute little boys and girls doing this job are doing FAR more for society than any other profession, since they keep YOU fat little disgusting incels away from an AR-15 blasting little kids away (and not the ones in your pants either).

Have you ever seen those super hot young girls in Las Vegas, holding onto the arm of a rich fat bastard at the casino? Unless you’re mentally challenged, you understand she is trading her “time” for his “money”. In no universe would a cute little hard-body like her want to go out with some flabby chubby loser in his 50s.

Compensated dating is basically that but without the blowjobs. You go to Japan (or a lesser Asian country) and see that little sixteen-year-old girls will go on “dates” with you if you pay for their Louis Vuitton collection. Except of course they do not put out, and why would you want them to unless you are some disgusting white pedophile looking to take advantage of Asian concubines. Think of it, like “sugar dating”, and YOU are the “sugar daddy”.

If you had a petite frame that looked good in a mini-skirt, you’d probably sell your “companionship” too - considering these little girls take advantage of these fat balding old men who are bored of their plank-bodied wives who give them a twist-rub once every year (if that).

These girls make a KILLING from this. I was pumping white seed in Japan, and one of my many girlfriends told me she was a compensated dater. She told me about how some fat middle-aged Polish man bought her three Louis Vuitton bags in a single month. I ended up stealing one of the bags from her, but it made me realize how disgusting and lonely most of you are.

Not only do they get expensive gifts from these men (who, I must remind you, they NEVER sleep with) they are also PAID by these men. A true hard-working girl will make roughly $8,000 USD a month if they’re doing it full-time. They will usually charge over $100 USD an hour (not the shitty Japanese make-believe currency, REAL currency). 

It also depends on how good the girl looks. Japanese girls who are very attractive (like a horse, always check their teeth as they usually have bad teeth) will make a lot. Non-Japanese will never make money in Japan doing this.

Aren’t you a special little guy. You want to go on a date with a man. Not even gay men go on dates with men, so that usually means you’re a lonely old lady whose husband is dating a 16-year-old compensated dater. So why shouldn’t you?

It is surprisingly common for older women to go on dates with younger Japanese men. This usually means that the woman is a 50-year-old who still thinks she is in High School. This is indicative of mental development issues spawned from years of alcohol abuse. 

This is a major issue in Japan, the fact that both older men and older women want to ignore their marital issues and instead pursue the idea of being “youthful”. That’s the issue. These men and women worked so hard their entire lives, and then they never had a real social life. No, I do not count being forced to drink with your boss and your work colleagues as a real social life. You can never be yourself around your coworkers. This really hurts women more than men, since women crave a social life.

So, these lonely women will hire a young good-looking guy to take them out on dates. Show them to their 50-year-old girlfriends, and get to pretend to be young again for a couple of hours. It’s pathetic, and sad, and has both the client and the worker manipulating one another. One sucks up the youthful energy and time of a young man who SHOULD be trying to start real relationships, and the other sucks up money and gifts from a lonely old lady going through menopause.

A lot of men actually make more than the average woman when doing this. There are more good-looking Japanese men out there than women. No, I am not gay - it’s just a fact. Additionally, a lot of the men who are married to these boring women WANT their wives to go out with these young guys. It gives their husbands “cover” to go out to do more interesting things than sleep with their wooden wives (golf, drinking, whatever) since their wives are too busy playing arcade games with a 17-year-old boy.

You should go to one of those “Host Clubs”. You go in and socialize with the Hostess. You are paying the owner of the club, but you develop a “relationship” with the hostess and eventually pay for her to go on dates with you. A lot of them look good, but the girls at the actual brothels look way better.

However, you cannot take a selfie with a prostitute. Vanity is the name of the game. Everyone is vain. You want to take pictures with a 5/10 Japanese girl to send back home to your buddies, who are all losers. They’ll sit there and say “Wow, Steve is so crazy! He’s laying pipe in Japanese women!” but in actuality, you’re just paying a girl to sit awkwardly with you at some restaurant because her English isn’t very good.

Anyways, just go to a Hostess Club. Don’t be a freak. Show that you have money and these girls will fight over YOU - so they can have the privilege of going on a date (at least in your mind). Everything at the Club will be very expensive, and might have a “theme”. It is not dirty, it’s very high class. So don’t wear your stained underwear with skid marks in it. You need to look classy.

Don’t act rapish. Basically, don’t be yourself.

Yes. Back in the day it was seen as a form of pedophilia (which I’m sure some Redditors, love the idea of), but now it seems it’s girls between the ages of 18 - 21 pretending to be school girls. At least, that’s my view on it. 

It is technically not “prostitution”, since there is no expectation of physical contact. You’re just paying the person to come out with you on a date. How can you make that legal or illegal, it’s impossible to enforce. However, if you’re picking up lot lizardsor and having public sex of course that’ll be illegal. The Japanese do not treat foreigners well who break the law, by the way.

What a question to ask. There is no expectation of physical contact, and many minors HAVE done compensated dating. As I mentioned earlier, a lot of compensated dating is about making yourself feel youthful and full of “kid energy” again. However, that does not make it right.

Do not date a minor in Japan. That’s creepy and weird. Luckily for children, most foreign predators are stuck using Hostess Clubs as a way to find these girls (who are all over the age of 18), so it seems that the only children who will be abused by foreigners are the ones nearest to an American Marine base (or shawarma stall).

Compensated dating is all about gaining kid energy back. Most of the people who use it are actually Japanese, not foreigners. Foreigners are stuck using Hostess Clubs, which are slightly different than the mainstream “enjo kosai”. 

Good luck in Japan, and happy hunting!

Picture this: You’ve finally crawled out of your gamer hovel and traveled to Japan. Somehow, you’ve managed to pick up a hot Japanese girl (probably using my guide) but UH-OH - you’re currently sleeping in an Amazon approved Sleep Pod and can’t bring her back to the pod for some action. Then you have a sudden realization, why not bring your “date” (definitely not a prostitute) back to a Love Hotel!

But right now, you have no idea what a Love Hotel is. That’s why I’m here to help you. Love Hotels are a “short stay” hotel, meaning they’re only for the purpose of a “short rest”. Now replace “rest” with “sex” and “short” with “under 30 seconds” and you now understand what a Love Hotel is meant for.

So, a Love Hotel is basically a place where you bring your date back to a secluded and private area for some privacy. Now, don’t imagine a biohazard motel room as a love hotel. Those are places where you bring Toothless Candy the Five Dollar Sucker - not a cute Japanese woman.

Love Hotels are amazing, with robots and self propelled sex toys for your every desire. One time, I went to the “chain and leather” Love Hotel. I had all sorts of whips, ball-gags, and even a Japanese F1ST0 Bot for my every need. Now, do you think the Old Orchard Motel in Texas has a fisting robot for you to use? I don’t think so. Instead of F1STO you’ll get AIDS at one of these motels - something which NEVER happens at a Love Hotel!

Love Hotels are mainly used by couples, but are also a cheaters paradise. Windows are non-existent or minimal, and even the staff don’t see who you are (and you cannot see them), thus providing you with the best privacy for you. If you’re worried about anyone seeing your Japanese girlfriend (who are we kidding, you’re not the one who is ashamed in that relationship) you can definitely take her to a Love Hotel.

Depending on the type of Love Hotel you go to, you can either expect shame and regret or a nice high tech experience. Many places can offer room service, but many also make privacy their number one concern. One time, I saw a European Teacher (the worst in Japan) taking an underaged Japanese school girl into one of these things. Now at the time, the age of consent in Japan was 13 so I assume everything was legal. However,  I can assure you that he was not offering her late night tutoring services. He had a Dutch accent, so it was no surprise to me that he was a sexual deviant.

The price of a Love Hotel obviously varies. Cheaper ones used for only one purpose (a quick lay) is  dirt cheap and inexpensive ( ¥ 2500 for a four hour visit) or incredibly expensive and stupid to buy (  ¥ 25,000). I always opted for a middle of the road option, with robots and a cool fetish to take part in. The Japanese LOVE BDSM - and the women there love to be dominated. You need to dominate the women when you go to Japan, otherwise they won’t respect you. I highly recommend you visit a Ball and Chain Love Hotel, or Leather and Whip. 

Nowadays, since single accommodations are much more common in Japan - going to a Love Hotel is not seen as “very common” now. However, many people still go and enjoy the experience of one. To keep up with these changes, many Love Hotels follow “themes” - such as BDSM or Anime School Girl. 

Don’t worry about noise. Insulation will have you covered - besides, all of the Japanese girls I’ve been with are whimperers. I on the other hand screech like a baboon in heat (to display my dominance), and I’m glad I can do that knowing that the little Japanese guy next door can’t hear me.

I want to make it clear to you little freaks that Japanese Love Hotels are NOT for prostitutes. If you want a prostitute, go to Soapland. Don’t bother trying to find cheap hookers at a Love Hotel. You don’t even bring hookers to the Love Hotel. I mean, I guess you could - but you’re just throwing money away.

If you’re a fat white guy trying to get action in Japan, it will be very easy for you. You won’t need to get Chinese prostitutes in Soapland to service you. Just badger and harass Japanese women until one of them goes with you to a Love Hotel. Why in the world would you want some Chinese hooker to come with you to a Love Hotel - so you can serve her champagne and play Dance Dance Revolution? I don’t think so - you only bring your date to the Love Hotel.

Then again, if your apartment is full of Amiibos in jars full of biomaterial and is a disgusting pig stye because your mommy is no longer cleaning up for you - then perhaps bringing back a prostitute to the Love Hotel is a good idea. Afterall, Prostitutes don’t like smelly apartments OR smelly guys - as prostitutes will deny being with you if you have skid marks on your athletic shorts.

One way to tell if something is a love hotel compared to a traditional hotel, is by seeing if there is a “theme”. For example, Hotel Zebra. Hotel Zebra looks out of place, and almost seems like it’s ripped straight from Cyberpunk. Their designs are “loud” and boisterous. It is very obvious that this themed hotel is a love hotel. Additionally, if you opened your eyes you’d see the windows are “blacked out”. 

Don’t be a stupid tourist and try to ask to book a couple days here, or expect quality service. Yes, some Love Hotels are very “fancy” (as fancy as a place can be whose only purpose is for couples and cheaters to find a private place to hook up) - but that does not mean you should expect them to cater to your FOREIGN needs.

Typically, foreigners do not use love hotels. So, they are not designed for Greg from Virginia to use. Of course you’re free to use them, but don’t expect a “tourist” treatment. Tourists should be going to soapland, or just taking a girl back to their actual hotel room. Regardless, don’t expect the traditional “tourist” hotel experience if you got to one of these.

One time I took one of my many girlfriends to a love hotel in downtown Tokyo. It was a themed Jungle hotel, and we wanted to do sexy cat roleplay. While I was checking us in, some fat American came in and didn’t understand what the purpose of the hotel was for. He kept asking for “service” and wanted to know “where the girls at?” I think he thought the hotel was a brothel, and even asked me “how do I get one of those?” and pointed at my Japanese girlfriend. When I explained to him he needs to drop the weight and maybe not have a dirty stained anime t-shirt to get a girl to actually go out with him, he told me that he can just “buy it”.  I explained to him that this was NOT a brothel and he just stared at me with the traditional fluoride stare that all Americans are known for. 

The biggest misconception with the Love Hotels (at least, in my experience) is that foreigners think they are brothels. They are not brothels, they are simply a nice place to do sexual roleplay in.

At the end of the day, you probably shouldn't be using a love hotel. You only need to use them if you're trying to be discreet, and I'm imagining you have no reason to be discreet. If you have a girlfriend back home you want to cheat on, you don't need to worry about her finding out about your sexual conquests in Japan.

However, if you feel the need to be discreet a Love Hotel may be perfect for you. At the end of the day, as a tourist you should already have plenty of privacy in your hotel room. You don't need to spend additional money on more hotel rooms. Of course, if you're looking to get into fetish cat-girl roleplay at a Jungle themed Love Hotel then by all means rent a room.

Number One

Hygiene (Don't Stink)

The number one complaint that Japanese women have for gaijin is how bad you smell. If you want a Japanese girlfriend, you’re going to have to wash DEEPLY. You can’t jump in the shower and let the water hit your rolls, you need to scrub and wash in order to truly impress the ladies.

Japanese girlfriends are used to Japanese boyfriends not having body odor - so you cannot smell like BO every time you see her. In Japan it might be hard for you to find public showers, so be sure to always shower in the morning.

Japanese girlfriends DO NOT LIKE FACIAL HAIR. You must shave your neckbeard if you’re going to Japan. They like smooth faces, which will highlight your sharp jawline (or your triple chins). It’s recommended that you shave twice a week - maybe even three times if you grow facial hair quickly.

Make sure you bring razors and a lot of razor blades. Japanese men have a hard time growing their facial hair, so it might be difficult for you to find the perfect razor and blade for you. Good quality razor blades are VERY expensive over in Japan, whereas in America it’s super cheap. Don’t worry if anyone questions why you have a bunch of razor blades, the Japanese police are well known for being just and not insane.

Japanese women are not used to how chivalrous Western men can be, but they most certainly enjoy it! In fact, many Japanese women were surveyed on this and they said the number one quality that foreign men have is how polite they are. So be sure to tip your fedora and bow as they pass by you - otherwise, they may be put off by your foul stench and lack of manners.

Unfortunately for you, chivalry extends beyond simply holding a door. Eating properly, being a gentleman, and dressing well are all elements of manners you most likely do not follow. Simply being “nice” is not having proper manners. If you take good care of yourself, then your Japanese girlfriend will know you will take care of her!

Act very lovey-dovey, and do not have an air of politeness to you. Act like a “gentleman romantic” and you will have no problem keeping your Japanese girlfriend - or potentially attracting one. 

Do not be assertive and pushy about things. You need to understand that you’re a guest in their country, and you shouldn’t be super aggressive. That is a massive red flag for a potential Japanese girlfriend. Whereas over here in Western nations we are used to women wanting a man who is “assertive”, over in Japan they simply view it as rude. 

So, don’t act like Tate or whatever newest woman-beating “guru” has entered into the internet space. Just be normal, polite, courteous, and understanding. Like a proper medieval knight (minus all the killing, kidnapping, and other crimes).

Japanese people have an awful sense of fashion - they frequently have jarring colors that clash with their clothing. It makes me sick. As a Westerner (most likely American), your sense of fashion is equally as bad if not worse. Therefore, you must elevate your sense of style so that Japanese girlfriends flock to you.

If you dress like a slob, with greasy stains on your shirt and skid marks on your underwear - you will NOT get a Japanese girlfriend! Instead, you should follow all the modern sense of style you’d see at a local Parisian cafe. All of the “Westernized” Japanese girls LOVE those long coats and berets. Your athletic shorts and tennis shoes make you look homeless in Japan. Stop wearing that garbage and spend a couple hundred dollars on a proper outfit if you want to attract a cute Japanese girlfriend - otherwise, you might get a fake Japanese girlfriend who is actually Chinese.

No, do not wear a beret. Berets are for women (this is why I’m here to help you). Style your hair, and wear nice sunglasses out in public. Make sure you wear light cologne, which will help your Japanese girlfriend identify your scent in public (similar to a bloodhound).

You will not find a Japanese girlfriend on dating apps. Japanese women are very shy, so all they post on dating apps is food. Instead of wasting your time on these apps, go out in public and actually meet people. While Japanese people are shy online, once they’re done work and out drinking with colleagues they definitely loosen up.

However, you must always be chivalrous. Japanese women are used to a lot of Western guys being insane creep freakazoids to them. Instead of drooling when you see a girl out in public and rushing to ask her if she’s seen the live-action version of One Piece - be polite and don’t be overly publicly sexual towards her.

Small talk and approaching people randomly is a strong Western concept, especially American (Canada and the United States). Instead, try to get involved in social group outings in your area. Eventually, you’ll find a girl that you connect with. Furthermore, do not chase after every single girl you see. Be selective. Women talk - and they’ll tell their friends when you try to ask them out. Once they realize you’ve asked out all of their friends, they’ll realize you’re some loser from back home.

You don’t need to always focus on one girl. It’s not good to put all your eggs in one basket for your Japanese girlfriend - keep your options open. While they are a conservative people, they won’t consider you their “boyfriend” until you actually make it official. Do not give off creepy weirdo vibes, constantly stalking them and asking about their day. Have a cooling-off period of one to three days. During your off time, you can always talk to other people you know.

If a girl is into you, she will be texting you CONSTANTLY. They reek of desperation. If a girl is not into you, they won’t talk to you for a while. Take the hint and find another girl - don’t chase after some idolized version of a Japanese girlfriend who doesn’t exist.

Very obvious, I know. Due to the shy nature of the Japanese people, a lot of them believe their English skills are very bad and will have a hard time talking to you about “romance” in a language that is not their native. While I’m not suggesting you become fluent in Japanese (that’s way too hard, even harder than washing out the skid marks from your underwear), you should have some conversational-level Japanese under your belt.

If you have a hard time understanding what people are saying around you, some Japanese stud might be trying to flirt with your Japanese girlfriend - and now she thinks you’re a loser for not defending her honor. Make sure you brush up on your Japanese skills before heading to Japan.

The benefit of having a Japanese girlfriend is that she will help you with your Japanese - and you will help her with her English skills. That is how a loving relationship always starts, with a Teacher - Student dynamic. Well, not in the weird power imbalance way where this Japanese girl is only with you because you can teach her English - but because you both mutually respect and love one another. You definitely do NOT want your Japanese girlfriend using you for her language skills, after all you’re not using her for anything…right?

That is my simple five step guide on how to get a Japanese girlfriend! It is completely foolproof. Actually, it probably extends to all women - since no woman wants a smelly creepy freak who isn’t chivalrous. Maybe we should stop fetishizing Japanese women. Oh, who am I kidding! Let’s just pretend that Japanese women are from another planet. Actually, I’m guessing most of you haven’t talked to a Western woman anyways. Regardless, if you go to Japan simply follow these steps and within a month you’ll have a Japanese girlfriend.

So, you want to learn about ancient Japanese Samurai huh? Why? Are you writing a book report on it? Oh - you want to open a successful dropshipping company and you know that the Samurai are the best people to look up to! You are definitely a well adjusted person and not an insane psychopath who has magical delusional thinking.

Ancient and wise Japanese samurai are some of the best people to look up to. They were masculine, physically strong, and had great strategic minds - all the things required for you to run a modern day dropshipping business from your house. That is why YOU should base your entire life and personality off these five amazing samurai. If you do, you’ll be super successful with lots of money - and many women will throw themselves at you (even if you don’t follow my guide on how to get a girlfriend).

Yasuke displays all the great qualities of a samurai, with the added benefit of being a racial minority. There is nothing more masculine than being enslaved, and then being so damn good at killing people they make you a freed servant with a paycheck. Did Yasuke complain about racial inequality in Shogunate Japan? I don’t think so. In fact, the racist nature of Japan saved his life at one point. Since the Japanese view black people as animals they did not care when he broke the law, so I guess that’s a win?

It is unsure how Yasuke ended up in Japan, but in our educated opinion he was most likely brought to Japan by the Portuguese as a slave. The Japanese were (and still are) intrigued by “blackness”, so they asked for him to stick around. 

Yasuke basically had a get out of jail free card for anything he did, and that alone makes him VERY cool. So if you wish to be a masculine samurai, you should look up to Yasuke and realize that by being an oddity and freak can probably get away with all sorts of crimes.

Captain Nathan Algren is the fourth greatest Samurai in history, because he embodies the “spirit” of the typical gaijin who travels to Japan. You will have a deeply spiritual connection to Japan, even though your ancestors were cool Nordic viking guys - he is the embodiment of the heart and spirit of all white gaijin who go to Japan to get out of a “low point” in their lives. Afterall, that is why you have the adventurous heart.

Against overwhelming odds, Nathan Algren stood against a technologically superior foe. This is truly hardcore. You must follow the ways of the gaijin Nathan Algren, and realize that in defeat there is honor. Stick to your principles and you will live on in history as a true samurai warrior. 

Alright, Nathan Algren doesn’t exist. Does anyone remember the hit Tom Cruise movie “The Last Samurai?” - That’s who Nathan Algren is. In real life, he was based off some French guy who is definitely the first weeaboo in history. Well, apart from Yasuke - but Yasuke was a slave and black people really didn’t start getting into anime until the Boondocks came out.

Oh, that French guy was imprisoned and executed for deserting from the military. So, forsake your current duties and run off to Japan just like the best gaijin ever.

Yukio Mishima is a true samurai. He realized that radical leftists had invaded Japan and began to cause the moral decline of their society (see Hentai), and thus realized the only way to stop this moral bankruptcy from continuing is by killing himself by seppuku. 

Sacrifice is an important part of being a samurai. Knowing that you must sacrifice things of great importance will help you on your road to opening your own online t-shirt business. Yukio sacrificed his LIFE in the hopes of making Japan better.

Yukio is also the embodiment of the samurai spirit as he was a renowned poet, author, and academic within the great Empire of Nippon. While having the spirit of a warrior is a great thing for a samurai to have, the spirit of a lover is even more rare and better. 

If you want to be a true samurai, you should go outside and ask the girl you’re into if she wants to go get a cup of coffee. Maybe she can watch the latest hit new anime that has come out. That could be your litmus test to see if she truly is worthy of a samurai’s love.

Date Masamune was EPIC. He had only one eye, so he was practically a real life anime character. He was called the One-Eyed Dragon. WOW! The only one-eyed dragon I know of cannot be shown off in public, and much like a katana needs to be sheathed. Date Masamune is considered one of the greatest Japanese tactical heroes, and he lived during the early Edo period.

When Date was only 14 years old, he led soldiers in a great battle. What were you doing when you were 14? I bet you were doing unproductive things, like “going to school”. Get a GRIP! You need to KILL people by the age of 14 like Date did. That’s what a true samurai would do.

Alright - definitely don’t kill anyone. That’s not cool. But Date didn’t really “murder” people. He was a soldier for his clan, which is like being a soldier fighting for your country right? Would you call Chris Kyle a murderer? I wouldn’t, since I’m a patriot.

Tomoe Gozen is one of the greatest samurai to ever live. Why? She was an ancient girl-boss, that’s why. In fact, she was the first girl-boss in history (She’s before Joan of Arc). Tomoe single handedly helped create the first Shogunate - showing that girls simply do it better than boys. I tried really hard to find a gay Samurai, but I couldn’t. I actually think they were all probably gay - nothing wrong with that, but I definitely think they had a “spartan” vibe to them.

Interesting factoid, some incel loser told Tomoe he’d rather die with a man at his side than a woman (while he was dying). He said it would be humiliating if he was found dead alongside a woman. So, she was allowed to leave while the two men stayed behind to “honorably die”. It is super bigoted to tell a woman she is not allowed to die with you, and to instead run away. I’m sure all of the #bossbabes out there would LOVE to be brutally killed in a battle.

Tomoe Gozen was an excellent killer. She killed people with a bow, a sword, and many other martial objects. Modern day women typically kill only with plan-b, but maybe they can look up to Tomoe and how strong and independent she is. Tomoe was REALLY into cutting off the heads of her enemies. She would often display them to people.

Those are the top five BEST samurai for you to look up to! As a gaijin, the best thing for you to do is forsake your own history and culture and instead look to other cultures as a way to build your own “unique” identity! Or, perhaps, you can realize that looking up to these people has no true relevance in your own modern life. You can just ignore me, of course - perhaps one day you too will disembowel yourself or be a disgraced soldier!

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Johnny Mnemonic, Kill Bill, Gokusen, Cowboy Bebop, Nurarihyon no Mago, these movies, TV series, and anime may have different stories but they have one thing in common: the Yakuza or, as we Westerners know it, the Japanese mafia.

Many people question whether or not the Yakuza are active and alive. Do the Yakuza still exist in Japan? Do these fictional gangsters still have counterparts in real life? Yes, they do. Although they have fewer members each year, there are still active Yakuza organizations throughout Japan.

In recent years, the Japanese government and police have been cracking down heavily on the Yakuza, dissuading them from carrying out criminal activities. Sentences handed out by judges have been harsher, and legal loopholes that were once abused have been corrected.

Let's find out what the Yakuza are doing nowadays, and how they are circumventing the longarm of the Japanese government.

What Are The Yakuza?

The Japanese police call them ‘anti-social organizations’ or ‘violent groups’. There is no umbrella Yakuza organization. They’re ‘families’ that have sub-groups, federations, and affiliates under them. The members have strict codes and rituals that they follow to the letter.

Like the mafia, they deal with underworld activities like racketeering, gambling, drug, and prostitution rings. They also protect' communities and neighborhoods in exchange for protection money. But unlike the mafia, the Yakuza are not a secret society. Yakuza’s activities are regulated by laws but the organizations themselves are not banned in Japan.

We all know that the Japanese are neat and methodical. These characteristics carry on to crime. The Yakuza are just about as organized crime as you can get. They’re also very complex, much like the Japanese train system. This may be simplifying things a tad too much. But, as author Dave Barry wrote, “…even crime is carried on in an orderly fashion in Japan.”

The Yakuza are so organized that the Japanese police have their names and office addresses in a database. Their senior members have calling cards. They have family emblems or company logos. They once offered pension plans. There’s even a Yakuza magazine circulating among the members of one group. They give out candy during Halloween but have recently canceled this event last Halloween due to pressure from the local government and police.

Who Are The Yakuza?

What you see in manga, anime, and movies are mostly true. You’ll know a Yakuza by his:

Full-body Tattoos

Part of the ceremony to turn into a Yakuza member is to have a head-to-toe irezumi (tattoos). The word irezumi means inserting ink under the skin. Another word used for it is horimono meaning carving or engraving. These words capture the painful process of tebori (traditional Japanese tattooing). The process is based on how woodblocks were created—gouging wood to create a piece of art. The artists adapted their process from wood to human skin.

Traditional instruments include wooden handles, sharpened bamboo tipped with needles, silk threads, and ink. Anesthesia is never used. The person getting the tattoo feels every stab and poke and tap. The entire process is painstakingly slow because everything is done by hand. A full-body tattoo could take years. Since the process is very painful, the Yakuza consider it a rite of passage and proof of their manliness and strength.

Some tattoo artists today use modern technology like electric tattoo machines and anesthesia. But some artists and clients still prefer tebori. Tattoos were not always associated with the Yakuza. The tattoos of ancient Japanese were said to have spiritual significance. But during the Kofun era (300-600 BCE), criminals were branded with tattoos. Then during the Meiji era (1868-1912) tattoos were outlawed.

Soon, tattoos were firmly established in Japanese society as something that is used only by criminals or those who deal with illegal activities. Today, both those who get tattoos and those who are tattoo artists keep their “art” a secret.

The prevailing negative connotation for tattoos is the reason why many onsen (hot spring) and sento (public bathhouse) do not allow tattooed people (even foreigners) to enter their establishments. Due to current laws, no legal businesses want to be associated with Yakuza by having a tattooed man entering it's premises.

But once in a while, Yakuza members show off their tattoos. When they gamble or play the game oicho-kabu (a type of card game, I’ll discuss this a bit more), they usually remove their shirts or open them up so people can admire their tattoos.

Also, every year during the Sanja Matsuri (literally Three Shrine Festival; one of the three biggest Shinto festivals in Tokyo), they can proudly take off their clothes and wear only their fundoshi (traditional Japanese undergarments) and their tattoos as they take part in the festivities.

Missing Fingers

Although it might be rude to stare, you can also try to count a person’s fingers. If he has less than ten fingers then most likely he’s from a Yakuza group. The tradition of yubitsume (cutting off a finger) is performed by a Yakuza member who fails to perform a duty or makes a blunder.

The entire finger is not cut off at once. At the start, only the tip of a finger is chopped off and given as an offering of atonement to the boss. Each blunder means more chopping until a whole finger is cut off.

There’s a reason why this tradition began. In the past, losing a finger was very inconvenient to swordsmen. Losing a digit meant a weaker grip on a sword. This, in turn, meant that the person would need to rely more on his allies to defend him. To pay his debt, he would do everything in his power to accomplish what his group would assign to him.

Today, many younger members of the Yakuza do not perform yubitsume because it’s too conspicuous. The police would be able to spot them at a glance. But those who still follow the tradition have found a way to disguise the result: prosthetic fingertips.

Speech patterns

If you know the Japanese language, you’ll understand that just like English it also has patterns and dialects that are unique to certain groups of people. The stereotypical Yakuza member in movies, TV, manga, and anime is said to use the Hiroshima dialect. Some say this is because the dialect sounds harsh to the ear and a speaker sounds tough when using it.

The Yakuza use their local dialects. But they generally try to emphasize sounds and change words to sound tough. They generally roll their “Rs” and change their vowels. For example, they will say shiRRanee (I don’t know) instead of the usual shiranai. They also use slang (like okami for cops) and foul language whenever they can. It might be hard to distinguish Yakuza from ordinary guys, though, since many teenagers and young adults who live in the cities also use this slang-laden speech pattern.

How Are The Yakuza Organized?

As stated above, a Yakuza organization is considered a “family” or kumi. It has an yabun (boss or father figure; always male) and kobun (followers; literally, foster or surrogate children). It is very rare to have a female boss. Usually, the top females in a Yakuza are the boss’ wife or daughter. They are respected but they don’t have authority or power within the groups.

Since this is a Japanese organization, there is a strict hierarchy among the members:

• Kumicho: The oyabun or over-all boss
• Wakagashira: Second-in-command; in charge of coordinating the work of
• Shategashira: Lieutenant; leader of a gang
• Regional Gangs: A handful of typical neighborhood gangs
• Kyodai: big brothers; senior members
• Shatei: little brothers; junior members; underlings

Everyone below the Kumicho is a kobun. Besides the “foot soldiers,” there are also members of an organization who deal with the administrative side of things, much like a corporate business:

• Saiko-Komon: Senior adviser/chief of staff; reports directly to the Kumicho
• So-honbucho: Chief of the headquarters; reports directly to the Kumicho
• Komon: Specialist staff
• Hisho: Secretaries
• Shingiin: Lawyers
• Kaikei: Accountants

The underlings pledge allegiance to a boss over a ceremony called sakazuki (a saucer-like cup for sake). Each organization has a particular process. One way is for a moderator to pour a cup of sake for the oyabun who takes a sip and then passes the cup to the kobun. The ceremony is completed when the kobun finishes the sake and keeps the cup.

Origins of the Yakuza

The history of how the Yakuza began is not clear. The various theories have intersecting points that debate whether they've originated from historic ronin, firefighters, or even the poorer classes of society.

The Burakumin

The burakumin was an ostracized sector of Japanese society. They dealt with death (executioners, undertakers, butchers, etc.) so they were considered impure. They were forced to live in isolated or secluded areas. They turned to crime and gambling to survive. According to some reports, about 60% of current Yakuza members are descended from the burakumin.

One of the traditional gambling games that have survived until today is the oicho-kabu. Each card in this game has a corresponding number or score. The goal is to get three cards that score a total of 9. If the cards’ total is 10 or above then the second digit is considered the score. The worst three-card draw that you can get is 8-9-3, which has an acronym of YA-KU-SA (8=hachi or ya; 9=kyuu or ku; 3=san).

Peddlers

The tekiya (peddlers) were also considered a very low class of people who sold illegal, stolen, or substandard goods. But they soon began to band together and form organizations that initially sold goods and offered protection during festivals. The structures of the tekiya resemble the current structure of the Yakuza with an oyabun and kobun.

The tekiya became so good with commerce that they were recognized as official organizations during the Edo period (1603-1868). The oyabun of different organizations was allowed to have a surname and carry two swords (which the government only allowed the samurai class to do).

Japanese 'Robinhoods'

During the feudal era of Japan, many people were poor and only a few were rich. Some people believe that the Yakuza are descended from a ragtag group of people who took money from feudal lords, which they then distributed to the poor.

Some groups refer to themselves as ninkyo dantai (chivalrous organizations) that continue this practice of “helping” the poor. After the 1995 and 2011 earthquakes, some of the first groups to help the victims were Yakuza organizations. They gave food, water, and other necessities. They also sent out people to help at the Fukushima power plant. Although some people say that the latter was just a PR stunt and the people sent to the plant were tricked, bribed, or forced to go there.

The Wandering Samurai; Ronin

When the samurai class was no longer needed, many swordsmen found themselves without any source of income. So, they began to form street gangs called kabukimono. They would dress up flamboyantly and act violently. They would harass and extort money from peasants. When this became unprofitable, they moved to cities and offered their services as thugs and bruisers. This samurai spirit is still alive in some of the rituals of the Yakuza.

The members are also supposed to strictly follow the code of the samurai. The Aizukotetsu-kai in Kyoto established around 1870 is considered the longest-existing Yakuza society. The Yamaguchi-gumi is the largest with about 9,500 members today.

Do The Yakuza Still Exist In Japan?

Like their Western counterparts, the Yakuza have “legitimate” companies. But the majority of their income still comes from illegal activities. There are stories of the Yakuza bribing politicians to get contracts approved, using people’s names to buy stocks, and managing Japanese rock and pop stars. But recent laws have restricted their activities significantly.

In 1991, a law was passed that made it illegal for Yakuza to be involved in legitimate businesses. In 2011, ordinances were passed that included hefty penalties for those who pay off Yakuza or do business with them. The government in Fukuoka set up a program that offered financial assistance to Yakuza members who want to get out of their gangs and get legitimate jobs. Last year, around 100 people in Kobe staged a protest against the Yamaguchi-gumi’s annual Halloween trick-or-treat handouts.

In the 1960s, the Yakuza membership peaked at about 184,000. Now, there are only about 39,000 members. Some organizations are said to find it hard to pay the wages of their members. Some reports say that the Yakuza reflects the current status of Japan’s society and economy. If the Yakuza are finding it hard to get members and make a profit, what does it say about Japan’s current status?