The beautiful and sexy city of Tokyo has two distinct flags. One is their ceremonial and stately flag, and the other is their “symbolic flag” - which represents their city internally. The first, with its majestic and beautiful purple background, symbolizes nobility - with a sun shining bright on its field. The second is a ginkgo leaf on a white banner - bringing peace and prosperity to the Tokyo Area.
Do you love flags? Oh, who am I kidding - the only people who would ever search for this article are probably weirdly obsessed with flags. I get it, I do. I think we all love weird things. Personally, I hate flags. I think they’re [REDACTED] and the people who like them are equally as [REDACTED].
Today for all you flag-loving weeaboos, we have a special treat for you. The history of the “Flag of Tokyo”. Not only that, we will discuss the symbolic nature of the iconography - except I fully disagree with what the Japanese claim is their symbols. I can already hear you squeal with excitement over learning the history of these awfully designed flags.
WHO DESIGNED TOKYO’S FLAG
Who designed them? You’d probably think that the person who made these flags had their eyes melted out when the bombs dropped on Japan, but you’d be wrong! Hiromoto Watanbe “created” (If you can call drawing an image of an anus “creation”) the Tokyo Metropolitan flag. WOW! It’s almost as if his ancestors knew that Watanbe would be the hero for all the Want to Be Japanese people who live in America!
Not much is known about the designer of the ceremonial flag. Probably for good reason, too. I doubt that Watanabe wanted his anal fetish to become public knowledge. Most likely, I could see him working as some sort of teacher or journalist - typically those are the largest sex pests in any nation.
TOKYO’S METROPOLITAN CEREMONIAL FLAG
I imagine a lot of you are typing out angry posts on Reddit about how I didn’t even talk about the colour of the Metropolitan, or the Ceremonial flag. How “important” it is they choose Purple. “Oh, Purple is not chosen a lot for flags! It’s so unique and interesting that Tokyo picked purple for their flag!” Yeah, that’s the most interesting thing about Tokyo. Not their robot sex cafes - God no, it’s the colour of their flag.
WELL NEWS FLASH!!! Purple means the same EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD! Yep, it is associated with “royalty”. I think we can safely say that means that either all nobility comes from Jippon or, and I want you to brace yourselves for this - the Japanese are all secretly white guys from the Roman Empire. Actually, I take that back. I’ve never seen people actually defecating in public in Japan like I have in France.
Don’t you think it’s CRAZY that purple seems to always be associated with royalty? Well, I think it has to do with how expensive the purple dye is (So a YouTube video told me). This Japanese website claims the “noblest colour in the world is Kaimurasaki”. It is crazy the lengths advertisers will go to, just to make a quick buck.
Well, I guess the anus design is draped in the “noblest colour in the world”. That’s nice. Hopefully, it doesn’t leave any stains on the noblest colour in the world. Now, this is truly NUTS - The Japanese couldn’t have just one flag for Tokyo they had to make two. It’s like everything the West does, they need to do two times as good. Well, in this case - two times as bad.
Some people (flaggets) say that the anus symbol represents a “sun”. I don’t know if the Japanese are blind, but the sun doesn’t have a dot in the middle of it. I much prefer my analysis of the symbol than it being a “sun”.
Now, I spoke about the “Official” or “Ceremonial” flag. They have another flag that, frankly, looks better. I don’t care what the r/vexillology dweebs say! (“HUE I TIP MY FEDORA TO YOU GOOD SIR!”) I really love the green thong that they designed on this flag.
TOKYO’S SYMBOLIC FLAG
Hold on. One of their flags is an anus, and the next flag is a thong? One has to think about that. It’s the perfect pairing. Maybe the Japanese are onto something with this. I know that the Japanese are anus fetishists, but I didn’t realize they’d implant their sick perversions into their flags. I’m kidding (or am I?) but I think the flags definitely look suspect. Think about your own municipal flag. Let’s take the city of Akron Ohio, a city known for its robust culture. Nothing about the flag of Akron, Ohio looks sexual in nature.
The meaning of the Tokyo flag supposedly is meant to represent a “ginko leaf”. This ginko leaf is green and is meant to show the prosperity of the Tokyo area. What is a ginkgo leaf? Imagine a clover but with down syndrome. That’s basically what a ginko leaf looks like. I can kind of see the similarities between the leaf and the thong symbol, but I much prefer MY INTERPRETATION. I think Japan needs to embrace its cute sexual nature with foreigners, and stop acting like it’s some mystical Kingdom.
WHY DOES TOKYO HAVE TWO FLAGS?
Having two flags is interesting, right? I don’t really think so. I’m sure you little flaggets are so excited to learn WHY they have two flags. Well, I want you to sit down and think about something: What is the population of the Tokyo Metropolitan Area? It has a metro area population of forty million people, OH MY GOD! Isn’t that crazy? Think about all the hot Asian girls you can meet in the Tokyo Metropolitan Area!
So, the Tokyo Metropolitan Area flag is the anus symbol. The thong symbol seems to appear mainly within the city itself, on public transit (WHO WANTS TO USE STINKY PUBLIC TRANSIT?). Think about this, does your state have a state flag? It definitely does (Unless it has confederate iconography - THEN IT ISN’T COOL BUD!) and you’re probably from some backwoods state like Arkansas that has only a quarter of the population of Tokyo. That means the entire REGION gets a flag, and then the city gets a flag too. Alright? Are you happy now?
For a country that was formed before the Roman Republic even existed, it is worth noting that their Tokyo flags are MODERN INVENTIONS! CAN YOU HECKING BELIEVE THAT? I always thought everything in Japan was super old (OMEGALUL!) In all seriousness, I do think it is interesting that Tokyo never had an old flag - then I thought to myself when did cities start getting their own flags?
WHEN WERE THESE FLAGS CREATED?
I couldn’t find anything, but it seems a lot of municipal flags (similar to Tokyo) started popping up in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. I don’t even know why regional or city governments require flags. What is the purpose of them? A symbol of power? I don’t do a lot of deep thinking, so I’m not really interested in delving deeper into this topic (Again, I’m sure the Redditor flaggets can comment on it).
Basically, I’ll sum up the article like this for you. The Japanese have awful city flags. If you care about the significance of their flags you’re either a student or a massive flagget. The purple anus flag is a “sun” that is for the whole region. The down syndrome clover flag/thong flag is the symbol of the area. Why the Japanese think they need two is stupid, but who am I to judge?