Picture this: You’ve finally crawled out of your gamer hovel and traveled to Japan. Somehow, you’ve managed to pick up a hot Japanese girl (probably using my guide) but UH-OH - you’re currently sleeping in an Amazon approved Sleep Pod and can’t bring her back to the pod for some action. Then you have a sudden realization, why not bring your “date” (definitely not a prostitute) back to a Love Hotel!
But right now, you have no idea what a Love Hotel is. That’s why I’m here to help you. Love Hotels are a “short stay” hotel, meaning they’re only for the purpose of a “short rest”. Now replace “rest” with “sex” and “short” with “under 30 seconds” and you now understand what a Love Hotel is meant for.
What is a "Love Hotel"
Are Love Hotels just places for drug addicted Prostitues?
So, a Love Hotel is basically a place where you bring your date back to a secluded and private area for some privacy. Now, don’t imagine a biohazard motel room as a love hotel. Those are places where you bring Toothless Candy the Five Dollar Sucker - not a cute Japanese woman.
Love Hotels are amazing, with robots and self propelled sex toys for your every desire. One time, I went to the “chain and leather” Love Hotel. I had all sorts of whips, ball-gags, and even a Japanese F1ST0 Bot for my every need. Now, do you think the Old Orchard Motel in Texas has a fisting robot for you to use? I don’t think so. Instead of F1STO you’ll get AIDS at one of these motels - something which NEVER happens at a Love Hotel!
Love Hotels are mainly used by couples, but are also a cheaters paradise. Windows are non-existent or minimal, and even the staff don’t see who you are (and you cannot see them), thus providing you with the best privacy for you. If you’re worried about anyone seeing your Japanese girlfriend (who are we kidding, you’re not the one who is ashamed in that relationship) you can definitely take her to a Love Hotel.
What to do at a Love Hotel?
Without getting into graphic descriptions.
Depending on the type of Love Hotel you go to, you can either expect shame and regret or a nice high tech experience. Many places can offer room service, but many also make privacy their number one concern. One time, I saw a European Teacher (the worst in Japan) taking an underaged Japanese school girl into one of these things. Now at the time, the age of consent in Japan was 13 so I assume everything was legal. However, I can assure you that he was not offering her late night tutoring services. He had a Dutch accent, so it was no surprise to me that he was a sexual deviant.
The price of a Love Hotel obviously varies. Cheaper ones used for only one purpose (a quick lay) is dirt cheap and inexpensive ( ¥ 2500 for a four hour visit) or incredibly expensive and stupid to buy ( ¥ 25,000). I always opted for a middle of the road option, with robots and a cool fetish to take part in. The Japanese LOVE BDSM - and the women there love to be dominated. You need to dominate the women when you go to Japan, otherwise they won’t respect you. I highly recommend you visit a Ball and Chain Love Hotel, or Leather and Whip.
Nowadays, since single accommodations are much more common in Japan - going to a Love Hotel is not seen as “very common” now. However, many people still go and enjoy the experience of one. To keep up with these changes, many Love Hotels follow “themes” - such as BDSM or Anime School Girl.
Don’t worry about noise. Insulation will have you covered - besides, all of the Japanese girls I’ve been with are whimperers. I on the other hand screech like a baboon in heat (to display my dominance), and I’m glad I can do that knowing that the little Japanese guy next door can’t hear me.
Are Love Hotels A Front For Prostitution?
Maybe if you don't clean your room, yes.
I want to make it clear to you little freaks that Japanese Love Hotels are NOT for prostitutes. If you want a prostitute, go to Soapland. Don’t bother trying to find cheap hookers at a Love Hotel. You don’t even bring hookers to the Love Hotel. I mean, I guess you could - but you’re just throwing money away.
If you’re a fat white guy trying to get action in Japan, it will be very easy for you. You won’t need to get Chinese prostitutes in Soapland to service you. Just badger and harass Japanese women until one of them goes with you to a Love Hotel. Why in the world would you want some Chinese hooker to come with you to a Love Hotel - so you can serve her champagne and play Dance Dance Revolution? I don’t think so - you only bring your date to the Love Hotel.
Then again, if your apartment is full of Amiibos in jars full of biomaterial and is a disgusting pig stye because your mommy is no longer cleaning up for you - then perhaps bringing back a prostitute to the Love Hotel is a good idea. Afterall, Prostitutes don’t like smelly apartments OR smelly guys - as prostitutes will deny being with you if you have skid marks on your athletic shorts.
How to find a Love Hotel
Ever heard of Google Maps, moron?
One way to tell if something is a love hotel compared to a traditional hotel, is by seeing if there is a “theme”. For example, Hotel Zebra. Hotel Zebra looks out of place, and almost seems like it’s ripped straight from Cyberpunk. Their designs are “loud” and boisterous. It is very obvious that this themed hotel is a love hotel. Additionally, if you opened your eyes you’d see the windows are “blacked out”.
Don’t be a stupid tourist and try to ask to book a couple days here, or expect quality service. Yes, some Love Hotels are very “fancy” (as fancy as a place can be whose only purpose is for couples and cheaters to find a private place to hook up) - but that does not mean you should expect them to cater to your FOREIGN needs.
Typically, foreigners do not use love hotels. So, they are not designed for Greg from Virginia to use. Of course you’re free to use them, but don’t expect a “tourist” treatment. Tourists should be going to soapland, or just taking a girl back to their actual hotel room. Regardless, don’t expect the traditional “tourist” hotel experience if you got to one of these.
One time I took one of my many girlfriends to a love hotel in downtown Tokyo. It was a themed Jungle hotel, and we wanted to do sexy cat roleplay. While I was checking us in, some fat American came in and didn’t understand what the purpose of the hotel was for. He kept asking for “service” and wanted to know “where the girls at?” I think he thought the hotel was a brothel, and even asked me “how do I get one of those?” and pointed at my Japanese girlfriend. When I explained to him he needs to drop the weight and maybe not have a dirty stained anime t-shirt to get a girl to actually go out with him, he told me that he can just “buy it”. I explained to him that this was NOT a brothel and he just stared at me with the traditional fluoride stare that all Americans are known for.
The biggest misconception with the Love Hotels (at least, in my experience) is that foreigners think they are brothels. They are not brothels, they are simply a nice place to do sexual roleplay in.
At the end of the day, you probably shouldn't be using a love hotel. You only need to use them if you're trying to be discreet, and I'm imagining you have no reason to be discreet. If you have a girlfriend back home you want to cheat on, you don't need to worry about her finding out about your sexual conquests in Japan.
However, if you feel the need to be discreet a Love Hotel may be perfect for you. At the end of the day, as a tourist you should already have plenty of privacy in your hotel room. You don't need to spend additional money on more hotel rooms. Of course, if you're looking to get into fetish cat-girl roleplay at a Jungle themed Love Hotel then by all means rent a room.